The Next Big Thing
LimBei is my nick
KLKX is my name
design'by- *blackraeyn;
Saturday, December 31, 2005
let's talk about resolution and reflection today. Because Chen Yie ask me write reflection. Haha.. So my 05 reflection. SJ, Judo, Study, Girls, Family, Friends, Self.
SJ- A rather busy year. With FAC, COC and to handle two training programs all thanks to PM Lee. Messy training programs, because have to see two programs and to make sure nothing is left out. I always feel that the main problem in the corp is trainer shortage. And i think next year will have a change to this problem. Hope so! Learn quite alot by myself this year, i have to learn my first aid and teach my cadets at the same time. I am proud of my ability to have a good knowledge of First Aid, foot drill, transportation, nursing. Almost all the subjects that is important in SJ.
SJ- A rather busy year. With FAC, COC and to handle two training programs all thanks to PM Lee. Messy training programs, because have to see two programs and to make sure nothing is left out. I always feel that the main problem in the corp is trainer shortage. And i think next year will have a change to this problem. Hope so! Learn quite alot by myself this year, i have to learn my first aid and teach my cadets at the same time. I am proud of my ability to have a good knowledge of First Aid, foot drill, transportation, nursing. Almost all the subjects that is important in SJ.
Judo- Had a competition this year. Did not win anything but had a good experience. Had done quite alot of training but i slacked after i got my orange belt. Have not gone to training for about 3+ months. I feel abit sorry to my judokas for not attending training. I did not have the feel to train. A period is because I having alot of tests and presentation, then came attachment. Haiz~ Feel bad lor..
Study- Did not give my best shot in my study. I was like slacking around or doing my SJ stuff more of the time. So i somehow put my study one side. When there is exam or test coming then i study. My grades are dropping each semester, just pass everything this semester. Was scared to death that i have to take sub paper. But the lecturers are really redundant ppl lor.
Family- This 18 years of life, i have not really go understand or love my parents, especially my father. i will never share my problems with them, i will always keep to myself. Dont really feel any bonds with them, it is like i just take money from them. So bad of me.
Friends- Seen more ppl in poly. Most of my classmates are just my classmates. Dont really have friends in poly. Dont mingle that much around. Still prefer the friends i make in sec sch. We gone through more tough times. Shen yang, wei jian bros. Cliff my bestest friend(F?M?haha) Dont really have alot of significant girl- friends. Maybe Li Chween because she can feel how i think and vice versa. Maybe my bastard group, Sarah, Jessica, Chee Yan, JieYing.
Girls- Hmm.. Hard to say. Those who are somehow more significant in 05. Wei Fen- My good friend? Amelia-My sec 1. Simin- My sec 1 buddy. Wei Shan-My nursing lecture mates. Haha.. Lalalala~~~
Self- Still stay around the same weight. But i think grew 1 cm taller to 177 this year, after staying at 176 for 2-3 yrs. Quite happy la. Still quite the same person. Happy-go-lucky. Nice to everyone even though some ppl sucks. Still the same peace loving, hate violence guy. Still like to play with my juniors as much as i did year year year ago. Hehe!! Health not as well i think. Stamina down, but i think strength went up by abit. Still dunno how to style myself because i dont care also.(On stage, off stage theory) My room still as messy. But i think grown more handsome. Wahaha.. Upgraded myself to Anti-Christ. Think more these days.
Overall 05 was not such a bad year. Now resolution time.
SJ- Rank it first for 06 first half of the year. Alot of things to be done. Still have two years service to my four year promise. Haha.. CS gone, so may have more work. Lucky still got LiWen to help me. Hope the cadets take more initiative, learn better. Dont make me so headache. The management team have better knowledge in all subjecst.
Judo- Not sure if i wanna continue in judo. Kind of no feel already. The ppl in there have changed. Anthony became more bird. Not the same as it was. No resolution for this.
Study- Rank second for 06 first half. Wanna study more. Dont wanna walk into exam hall asking myself if i will pass or fail the exam. Hate it. Be nicer to my group members..Dont wanna be the chairperson of my class. Waste my time, waste my brain juice. So of my classmates are childish, dont care of others feeling. Hope they grow up la, or they will be a lousy nurse next time.
Family- Never think of them yet. Maybe study psycho too much. Because got one theory says that only older people will start to think of family more. So i will let it stay as it is.
Friends- Hope my friends will stay as they are. And Cliff dont change too much. I dont wanna always take time to accomodate to your new behaviour, new thinking. You change alot these two years. Almost yearly change one time. Stick to your most inner self, dont follow trend like Korean. >_<>
Girls- Find myself a girlfriend. Dont wanna make the same wish again like what i did for my 16-18 birdday. Interested applicants pls call my hp. Muahaha.. =P My criteria for a girlfriend very easy, not damn chio, nice to me, love me for who I am. No more. Short and sweet. Still as single and availble as I was for so many years. =P------
Self- Wanna lose weight.. Haha.. 100 kg maybe. So that means 25 kg off in one years. Haha.. Wanna grow taller, 185 is my dream height. Be the same person as i was but think better. Nicer to everyone. Dont wanna change too much. Styling myself....Nope. Natural is the best.
Overall- Not much changes. Just be a better person. Hope everyone can reflect themselves. Going west coast to celebrate NYE. Dunno how to but can try.
and so He speaks
Then we told everyone their FAC team. Dunno is it right anot. I still dont feel the team is correct. Still need some adjustment here and there. Hope it will be some what fair abit. Need sometime to think through. NC 1 i wont change, because it is what i wanted. Then NC 2 suddenly realise got one small problem. NC3 also got some problems. Haha.. All got problem. Maybe should make the decision myself, feel that it will be better compared to the one discussed.
After that , went LJS makan. Then play pool with Ong. Won him. Wahaha.. Anyway, still have something which i havent settled. Which i want to settle by before i start school. Dont wish to bring it to a new year. Hehe..
Just wanna say some stuff in these paragraphs. My way of teaching my cadets is most of the time self learning. I feel self learning is better. just like in poly. Your lecturer is somehow redundant ppl in poly. Haha. So i really hope they can learn themselves more than i teach them. I teach them but the meomorising is up to them. They dont want learn wanna slack wanna die themselves, i will prefer them dont come see me. i dont wanna see a cadet who doesnt have passion or enthu to learn. It is equal to LOSERS! aka Shit people! (pardon my crudeness but it is how i feel)
Next, i have somehow made a new year resolution after looking at the zone calendar today 30/12/05. The corp will be damn busy, alot of comp to get in. So i decided to postpone my study first SJ second dream for half a year. Getting more into studies after all their comp after June. So i have to sacrifice sometime for my cadets. To help them achieve their best. And leave fond meomories in them forever. It is always nice to think back of what i did in my sec sch years. NDP 01, National SJ camp 01, FAC 02, National Camp 02. Especially the trainings that we had together as a team, the bond will always bring smile anytime anywhere when i think of it. Never gonna forget it, always hoping to relive the moments again. Kelvin, choon siong, shen yang, wei jian, jun xiang, george,nurul, raihanah,jiayang. The ppl i remember more from my batch. Still got wei wen, chin chuan, mei yun, shu jun. Hope that i have mentioned everyone from my batch. *smile**grin* Hope that my efforts will pay off in my cadets. If they dont achieve, my effort = wasted and my morale/passion will be unearthed.
and so He speaks
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Okok! On 25 Dec, the BLOODY CHRISTmas day, drank quite alot that day. As I have mention from the previous entry, drank two vodka around 12-1 am. Then in the afternoon, drank 1 more vodka, just feel like drinking. Then in the night, went out to meet Ong and Cliff to play pool. Bought two tiger and one Leo(thai beer). Then when we play finish around 11pm, we went to the coffeeshop to buy carrot cake. When i reach there, suddenly wanted to LS. Maybe because i drank too much earlier on. Then pass money to them then went Lot 1 toilet. Then i waited outside singpost, our usual hangout. Waited for quite long, until 11.35 then they come. And, they bought alot of things. Three carrot cake, two char kway teow. Haha.. So much lor. Three person five packet. As if came out from hell. Wahaha! Cliff lor.. Mad liao.. He damn hungry. We agreed on three carrot cake and three packet of water. Then become extra two char kway teow and 3 BIG GULP. I think ar 7-11 love us man. Whenever we buy beer, we dunno how to buy ice lor. Then we just go buy big gulp and pay so much extra. Haha.. I think next time go out must budget. My pocket lighter and lighter liao in the holiday. Spent so much. Actually got 100+ start holiday, now only left 20. Sianz~ So poor lor. And i realise I am a person who love alcohol, not 100% alcoholic, just love to drink. Maybe it numb me for awhile. "Jie Jiu Xiao Chou" the chinese call it. Maybe lor. Things not going very well these days. Lot of problems. But how, still have to settle one by one. Cannot throw away, who ask me "he~yao" my own backside. Continue. We were eating lor then chatting. My problem as mention aboved, they were teaching me. And i was nodding but not agreeing la. Must have my own thoughts sometime right. Anyway, thanks bros for your advices. I believe some stuff I have to do it myself in my own style to show the real me. Then Cliff was weak, haha... He cant finish his tiger. Haha.. Only I finished my leo. Dunno Ong got finish his tiger anot. Then went home. Cliff miss last LRT. Then we walk to Keat Hong there wait for NR3. And discussing some stuff. *secret**shh* Then we saw one NR3, the driver very F**K UP one lor. He saw both of us sitting at the busstop, then he never even slow down, just chiong straight ahead. Then me and Cliff were like looking at each other, and cursing the driver lor. I think SMRT or whatever company running bus should improve their quality of service. See ppl in bus stop at least slow down let them flag, and not see ppl then speed all the way to where? Hell ar! Muahahahaha!! Then he no choice, took cab home. Then i listen to my nano November's Chopin then walk home. Dunno why. These few days i love walking home. Especially at night. I little bit crazy these days. And i like to reach home when everyone is asleep. I reach home around 1.30am. Then online awhile then sleep.
Today 26/12/05 as usual, did nothing in the morning afternoon. Then meet Ong at CCK stadium at 4pm to go gym. So long never go liao. Weeks only la. Ong i think is months. Haha.. But now damn exp lor. $2.50 lor. But still student lor. Sianz~ Why cant ppl ruling the place thing. So what if I am 18. I am still a student. FULL TIME STUDENT! I still have 1.5 yrs before i graduate, Dont you all think that we should enjoy the student rate of $1.50 instead of adult rate. This is exactly like poly student ez link card. We still pay adult fare if we dont buy concession lor. I really wanna humtum lor.. JC student = student = 45/50 cents concession Poly student = not student = no 45/50 cents concession So what if I come out with a Diploma and can start working stat or after army. Cant A level student work stat. Why? Because they got no skill, skill at crapping around like in GP.
KCAAS this is the MOE or government standard of all the institution in sg. Knowledge, Comprehension, Application, Analysis, Synthesis. In poly, we only need to reach the KCA level, in JC i think is KCAA, not so sure about JC one. But Uni will be all 5. Because they need to make new knowledge(Synthesis). However, in nursing, we need the extra A because we are dealing with life and death things. need to analyse many things like lab result etc... Does being in JC really meet the KCAA standard. Dont think so.. Because I dont see the application unless "mian qiang" agree that in maths or physics or bio doing case study etc.. I really dont see. Not like poly, we go for attachment, hands on. Get screw upside down, inside out from the seniors in the organisation. So i really dont see the Application in A level.
Next, Analysis. Ok. This can be seen in GP. But, but but... Not everyone really have this analytical skill lor. Lalala~ Cut it short, in reality, if a firm wants to hire ppl. They will always choose Diploma first, A level cert can do what, wipe backside ar.. On a nicer tone to everyone, go JC if you are those whose hands on not so nice, love to bury yourself in books, and love to be hypocrites(for some JC :P). You have to know where you wanna go if you want study A then go U. Drop out of U = waste money. Poly tuition fee is 60,000 ( if not wrong), subsidized until 6,000. Then still got further subsidized etc.. U fee definitely much higher. Dunno the fee, but confirm more exp unless you damn clever get scholarship lor. Anyway, U student not all can get the Synthesis phase also. Seen some in my attachment la. Dont want talk about this. Enough of whining about $$$$$$$$$$$ concession. But it is a very BIG ?? as to why poly fare higher. Will it be something like old NKF?? Hope not. I believe in sg. Hope.
Back in the gym, did some things lor. Ong went easy today, me too. But some exercise heavier only la. Like 10 degree chest. Did until 64kg, not that heavy compare to my weight because i am weak i admit. Did leg press 390 pounds, as always. Not to show off la but i already between 270-280 pounds. I cant be doing my weight right. Will look like a loser lor. So dont envy guys. I did leg press just to show Choon kiat and Wee Kian la. Saw them in the gym, they were there so they somehow ask me demo. So just demo lor. So light only. *proud* Hehe!! Did other stuff, then went off at 6pm. Go Lot 1 eat LJS with Ong. Then eat until 6.55pm, he left to meet his friend to go woodlands library slack. We were discussing where to go during NYE. Dont wanna go K box. Exp. Plan to go see fire works in Esplanade, then go chiong pool, drink. Then wait for first train go home. Something like that. That is the program for NYE draft.
Then went home, online. Saw Simin(my sec 1) nick. Something like dont msg me or call me. Then i ask her what happen lor. She said lost phone in bus. Then heard from the other passengers is a couple took it away. Then she was like damn piss and sad. New phone lor. N3230. So nice phone. Then i was telling her to tell her mum to hold the line until get the new phone. Then she was like scared, because both her parents at home, scared of father scold + mother scold. She wanted to tell her mum next day, but how can. She wanted to hold her line herself but i think need some service number or what thing la. Which i think only can be found in the bill which her mother keeps. So told her to admit her mistake lor. Need to face the music also ma. It is a matter of now or later only. But it is better to hold line stat in case the shit fellow use the number dunno do what. So she finally go "zi shou" haha.. Then i went out to exercise awhile then came back. Talk to her again. And she was stuffing herself with chocalate. Wahaha.. Of course she cried la. Cry is good, release everything. Then her mum told her to buy new phone herself. She said that she is sad because her 128mb card is exp, and the phone is new, and the contact is gone. Haha.. If it was me, the thing i miss most will be the photos and contact. Phone of course will la, buddy buddy so long liao. So she is alright now. Good lor.
I think a blog is not the best place to know a person. Not all things are shown in the blogs. There is some deepest thought or dark secret that no one should know. If not, you will have no escape route for yourself or other parties. So, my blog does not reflect my 100% true self as I have many thinking that cant be put up. It will lead to chaos in my life and within my circle of friends. Except the words I use sometime is reflecting myself in real situation.
ps. Like I said before, the truth hurts. Sometime it is better to hide the truth and wear a mask. Too many mask = Burden.
and so He speaks
Sunday, December 25, 2005
and so He speaks
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Sat around there for about 30 min. Enjoying the night coolness, the peace and quiet around me. I havent been having any peace and quiet for so many years, really enjoyed that moment. Made me felt real good. I was also thinking of choosing the fin or the paw. Both have its reason for being in my life. Lalala~
After spending 30 min there, walk over to blk 246. Walking around, sitting at the chair there. Thought of the thing my friend told me on MSN on 22 Dec night. Felt so stupid, made me realise my childishness. I always thought that i was quite matured. But not in everything. My PR skill sucks! Said so many things which i should not have said. All the messages, my stupid requests made your life so hard. Singing "Wo De Cuo" as I walk away from blk 246, looking back a few times. The song have become clearer, real. The meaning of the song was felt. The past have come to haunt me, the message on 26 March 2004.
Walked over to Fajar, wanted to go Cliff house but he scared his mother not happy. Then he said wanted to meet me later to talk after his DOTA. So I just walk around. Walk back the same way until Bukit Panjang park. Then sat at the bus stop waiting for him to come down. He reached the bus stop around 1.15am. Talk awhile about the things that happened to me and him. Can say that we concluded something about the fin and paw. He talked about his apple thing also. Then we walk back to Fajar, bought some makan from 7-11 then went his house. We have to SNEAK in. Everyone was asleep at that time 2.30am. Just makan there lor, then he talk about his DOTA tactics blah blah blah.... Haha! Then we left his home around 3.20am. He walked me down to the place i met him just now. Before leaving the bus stop, he kept asking me to take NR3 save time to go home sleep. Aiyo! So exp! Haha.. i only take NR3 when i go orchard to eat and talk with my judokas. Not worth lor because walking got more time to think. Thanks anyway! Before i left, he threw me another challenge. Made me need to think again. Sianz~ Anyway, i am still thinking while writing this. So slowly lor..
Reach home around 4.30am. Faster than i thought. Only 1 hr from BP park- my house. Unbelievable! Same thing. Have to sneak in also. Made as little noise as possible. If my mother know i came home at this time, she will throw knife at me. Haha.. Slept until 10 then wake up. Lack of sleep!
Still have a long day ahead. Especially tonight. No celebration this BLOODY CHRISTmas but something important on.
For the song can go this web, feel it.
http://pop.sing8.com/1/43534.htm
我的错
飞机已离开机场
你选择了前往你的方向 不再迷惘
忘了我们爱的过往 忘了我给你的伤 学会坚强
从前的我不懂你牺牲多大 为我失去朋友不讲
还放弃了所有梦想 觉得没怎样 不会将心比心去想
让你慢慢慢慢失去了希望
能不能够再给我机会好好的爱你
我会仔细的聆听 你对我说的一言一语
我会学会去控制脾气不让你伤心
对你好好的去珍惜 请你相信我的心 还是爱你
我想再重来一次
回到过去弥补你的伤 没那种事
怎么做才能够停止 后悔竟伤你如此 不再放肆
为何总到失去才懂的难过 当你在我身边的时候
总是为我默默守候 都是为我的错
错过这难得的拥有 就让你爱我的心慢慢溜走
能不能够再给我机会好好的爱你
我会仔细的聆听 你对我说的一言一语
我会学会去控制脾气不让你伤心
对你好好的去珍惜 请你相信我的心 还是爱你
ps. Walking alone at night really open your mind up
and so He speaks
Thursday, December 22, 2005
and so He speaks
Ah Leow was reading it, and gave me some comment as a friend(OLD OLD friend). He told me to not beat around the bush, be straight forward. To directly ask the girl whether we share the same feel anot. if we dont share, then can be friend or good friend. If share, then good for us la.
I have to agree to some extent. But me being a someone who think and think and think, have a difficulty executing it. Well! I just have to spent more time planning anything that i want. Hard on my brain cells, but it directly affect my next 1.5 yrs in poly.
Chen yie also talk abit with me, did not know she got one more year than me. Wahaha! Let's compete!! Hehe!! Siao!! I am going bonkers!! Back to chen yie, ok. She is in no hurry to find any partner accord to her lah, BUT, age is catching up on you, dont let time leave too many scars on your face. (Think :P) My depression is getting better, at least I can crack lame jokes now. Not like in the afternoon, i was kind of moody when talking on MSN with jieting. Too bad lah, you talk to me wrong time. Haha!
My good old friend, classmate of 3A/4A Li chween was online around 11+pm. Chatted awhile, talking about her things and my things. Happy that she found herself a bf. Hope she be nice to him(she knows what i mean). Talk to her about my stuff too. She was asking me about the girl that i told her before(maybe 3 months ago) Wei fen. She was asking me whether we were together or not. Then told her no. She ask why. Then i tell her a story about last year.
Wei fen went to National Camp at Ubin last year, during August. Then on the day she book in around 5 or 6pm+, Bra called me. Said that she got injured in some activities, which he wasnt sure. Then he said he heard a girl was kayaking then capsize and hit some rocks below. He wasnt sure if it was weifen. I was really worried at that time, thinking what if something happened to her. I thought for awhile, should I go down to see her anot at CGH, the side of the island. I still decided to go check if she was all right. I makan my dinner quickly then took MRT down to jurong east. Then i got down there and took a cab to CGH as i thought MRT was just too slow. I think reach there about 8pm. I could not go in as she was in A&E, so just waited outside. Saw the red cross ppl who brought her to mainland, then intro myself then ask what happened. If I did not remember wrongly, she was riding on a bicycle, then she fell off the bike. Kana some scratches on the right side of the body. Then when i finally saw her, was so glad that she only have some graze wound here and there. She was not allowed to go back to Ubin, so she had to go back home with her bro and i think her mum also. The next day she called me, but I was working at AMKH. Only saw the miss call during my break, called back but no one at home. Then etc...
Li chween was like saying, "look! you have found yourself the answer!". Then I ??? at her. Then she did some explanation, evaluation. Which made me see something. And she was like asking alot of other question which some I dunno how to explain out. And the best part is, she manage to type out the feel i wanted to say. Amazing. We knew each other so well, maybe not as well but at least we think maybe the same way and same level.
Mah was asking me if i wanted any old pics, so i said ok. Then i saw some real old pic. I think the oldest pic was maybe 2002 St john day, havent seen every pic yet. Then still got the outing plan by us in 2002(sec3). Saw dicky and choon kiat, so SHORT. Haha.. Then Mah sitting on my shoulders to put checkpoints. Still got the mid autumn celebration. Saw my old chinese class, all look so young. Diff from what they look like now esp Iris. For me, I look older in the pics. I think is because I never shave frequently during the sec sch years. Still got the chalet 03 with officers and Senior NCO like us that time, we were drinking so much alcohol, beer. We really look very diff compared to 2 yrs ago. Me not really, i think for Ong change more. More mature looking. I still look the same so cute(AGREE). Waha! Still got alot, still downloading from Mah. Photo bring back fond meomories of the past. That is why i bought a digital camera. I want to capture the moments in everyone's life. Not everyone will understand why i like to take photo, especially when it is taken without the person knowing. The effect is natural, it shows the most inside of you at that instance. Still very happy to see the old pics.
Thanks Ah Leow and Li Chween and maybe Chen yie(haha) for giving me more light. I think my problems are settling. My decision will be made after I see my bestest friend Cliff tommorrow. And the best part, I will not write it down here. Chapter thirteen and fourteen shall be the most unique/explosive/emotional pages of this blog and it shall end here.
ps. Picture paints a thousand word. The best pictures will always be the one filled with the deepest emotion of someone at that time. No cheese, no twist, 100% natural.
and so He speaks
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Weifen~~ I really like you for a long time. Can say ever since you in sec 1. You were always full of smile, so cute, so nice to be with. But i could not do anything. In SJ, you were my junior. And i know that senior and junior should not get into any relationships. It will affect the corp, others will start talking bad things. The sense of biaseness will be there for others to talk about. I really wanted to be with you, caring for you, knowing that you are well. But my dedication to SJ forbids my being with you. I was really happy to know that your sec sch years are ending. I was counting down to your last O paper. Because i know that I will be free from any restrictions once you are out of KSS. I was thinking of starting a relation with you. But I suddenly realise that, my meomory of you was stuck to the time i left sch in 03. You felt different or i felt different. It is like a person you like for so long suddenly become so alien and strange to you. i have been thinking of this thing for a long long time. But i dunno how to start or do anything. Are you the same Weifen i knew in 02-03. Or am I the same Kenneth you knew in 02-03. I dunno! I really dunno!
I think partly is my fault. I am gonna admit it now. Amelia, I have never hope that the words going round the corp that i like you can hurt you so. I know you have been evading me ever since ZPN. Well! You have the right to evade me, but please do not do so during training. In training you are still my cadet and me your officer. I will do my best to draw the line clear. And did you just cried at the balcony just now? I am sorry if i have hurt you in anyway, my intentions was not to hurt you. I need some time to think. I cant do anything now except to wish that you are happy, and dont F**K hurt Amelia in any way, anyone.
Am i a flirt or hua xin? I dunno. Ong says that i gan qing fan lan. I did not agree. But i really did not know what to describe my situation now. I am stucked. I feel like a bastard now. Liking more than 1 person. I know it is not right for me to do so. But i dunno. I just want to make them happy, share problems with them. They are the only two person that i really hope to enjoy their life, happy, worry free. BASTARD! BASTARD! BASTARD! Cliff also told me to choose one quickly. But i cant put down. My nature doesnt allow me to put down things that i have a feeling in. Or is my thinking disallowing me to choose? I dunno. I really dunno. I am a bastard. A real bastard. Cant think. Sorry to you! I need time to think. Can I think?
Wanted to say out everything in this blog. I dont feel like bottling up everything anymore, i have kept quiet for too long. Causing me more stress and hurt. I do not like to write out my deeper thoughts, but it is on the brink of explosion. Haiz~ The thoughts of seeing two of you at the same event made me scared. I cant foresee what will happen, but i know i will be stressed somehow. Sorry Amelia! Sorry WeiFen! BASTARD LIM! Sorry for myself! "Wo hao zang"
ps. The truth hurts!
and so He speaks
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Then reach HQ, saw everyone there. 9/14 came. Dunno why also. Well, even if one come i also must teach. So be it. Then we started lesson proper. Taught theory to them, boring topic like nutrition, sitz bath. Gave them some kind of homework on medication. Then did some practical on changing an occupied bed before lunch. They were DAMN noisy! Maybe because i was too nice to them. Haha!! Cant change lah, soft hearted guy, can only be strict in Footdrill. Watch out everyone!! Then went for lunch at BK instead of my beloved LJM because Ong wanna eat BK. Then eat lor, sat at the table beside Amelia and her 3 noisy,blackmailing friends. Did not know Amelia needed to go on vegetarian diet for dunno how long. Still got one month left for her. Her nick states that she longs for the day the diet ends. Well! If it was me, i will also vomit blood.
Haha..
After lunch was more of practical. Ong started on his bandaging. Their bandaging was not very well, but the shape(useless though) was there. So mai hiam bu~a pai. Then after bandaging, we talked about the camp and some SJ stuff. They voted the campfire as the most meomorable event of the camp. So good! But only after some manipulation of the votes then campfire got first. Well! The campfire 05 was planned by me, of course must give myself credit.
Wound dressing was next, i taught them one person dressing last training. So i taught them two person dressing this time round. Very happy that my sec 1 can remember the steps. Whereas my sec 2 got abit Gabra here and there. They said NYP taught them the steps which i see wasnt right. Either it is NYP did not give face anyhow teach, or they might have forgotten some impt step. I choose to believe NYP never taught properly even though it is my school, i will not stand by them. Ok. After Rachel gave a mistake-ful demo, i gave another demo to correct each mistake that she made or have to take note. Ppl do make mistakes sometime, but practice make perfect. Just like me, when i learn wound dressing last sem, also gabra around. But during attachment then can really do everything proper. Back! Then correcting the mistakes already, divided into two grps. Ong see one i see one. I with Amelia and 3 friends(May, Aisyah,JieTing).
Corrected some mistakes here and there. Then it was Amelia turn. She clean the trolley and was reaching for the inner sides of the trolley. I heard her say that she cant reach the back, so i was nice to push the trolley closer to her. Who knows! The trolley hit her head. Die lor~
Wanted to go sayang or see if she is all right anot. Stretch hands over but she kept evading me. Haiz~ All because of the thing la. Made me and her drifted apart . She kept evading me but what to do. Also must continue.
Next was Aisyah, she was squeezing the cotton ball with the forcep with some difficulty. Then i wanted to show her how to do it. I went over to take the forcep from her hand, then somehow or rather i did not get it. i think is she withdraw her hand or what. So i followed. Then something happened. Dunno why my hand touch or brush upon her front. OMG! I was stunned/shocked for few sec man. I think only jieting saw it or maybe May also. Then i was saying sorry, explaining then my face turn so red. Then Amelia who did not see what happened, saw my face and May face then she started laughing. Hehe!! She laughed so much sia. It was nice to see her smile or laugh. Made myself happy also! (Yucks! Bian tai!! whatever!) Ok! Aisyah was not much affected by it, she keep saying only the shirt kana, it is ok de. Dunno is it true anot. Well! It is for me and her to know, and for you to find out. =P
After wound dressing was BP time. Found out that Ong BP was high, 130/90. So high sia. Hypertension risk. Then Amelia one was .... Hmm~ I think is 120/80. I think it is very high for her also, so young and the BP so high. No good! Must take care wor! Yup! Then Ah Leow came brought the new banner. It was so long, maybe about 3 m. Quite nice by Christine as always. Then had small debrief then off we go. Wanted to go home with Simin since she stay so near, but she go Bugis buy present. Then i went with Ong only lor. Then saw Amelia and 3 friends, they ran when they saw us sia. Like see ghost. Sianz~ Hate it!
Then talking to Ong on train, some stuff. Personal and SJ stuff. Then we decided to meet for kopi session at night.
and so He speaks
Saturday, December 17, 2005
NiLaoBa 13:14 - I hate things that are hung high to be sold. Dont hang the meat too high, it will lose its worth one day!
It shall stay as 13:14 till i find another column for it. Go figure it out CY! =P
Moodless to write today.
Shall end here!
and so He speaks
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
http://takey.myweb.hinet.net/miss1.htm
Maybe this web will describe some of my feel. Taken from Chen Yie blogz.. Anyway, I only know Chen yie reads my blog, and maybe WanTing also.. Hehe..
Dunno why this shit always happen to me!! The fact that I am big size and love to bully girls, does not state that I wont be nice to my gf right.. eg. This particular girl that I like, actually for awhile during sec 2 and awhile during 04 Nov/Dec(same girl dunno why also, I crazy la). Dunno can say we are on good terms anot, but I would wait for her to off work whenever she working. That would be about 10.45pm because she works at Yishun and stays near me, so walk her home lah.. I remember is me who recommend her the job de. I think I was very nice to her, even though we had very short time together, because walk home about 10-15min. I think I treated her like a girlfriend, hoping that she is all right, no one bully her at work, is she very tired, got any problems anot etc.. I even made two meals for her.(spagetthi, mixed rice all made by my Tender Loving Care =P) See! So nice! Dunno why we never get together! I think she had no feel.
Below is for me to groan
Why ar? Being big size wrong meh? Sianz~ Why sometimes gals judge guys by the looks not the way the guy treat the gal? I dont think that I am the best guy around, but I am loyal to anything or one. Just see my dedication to SJAB, if you treat me nice, i will treat you nicer even if I get shit all the time. I just dunno why lei.. Is it i have bigger area need longer time to see through me ar. Sianz~ Actually my birdday wish for these 3 yrs have always been the same, hope to find a girlfriend. From my 16-18 birdday same wish, WHY? Because never achieve. Must i keep wishing for the same things until I get to the army. Will i find my missing rib? (Why I say missing rib? See this. http://card3.silversand.net/diy/image/090666.swf ) I am tired of making the same wish. When can i change my wish? Haiz~
My bestest friend windz87(hehe) keep on telling me that girls these days like guys who are not rugged looking aka more man. The younger girls(should be dragon downwards) like guys who are more metrosexual, that means girly like guys as I define. Why ar? What is wrong with guys who are the same man as they were centuries, or thousands of yrs ago compared to a guy who you one look cannot decide he is a straight or a gay. Imagine, a guy carrying a tote bag holding hand with a damn chio girl and a guy who doesnt carry a bag or a backpack holding hand with a girl? Which one you think the image is better? The "SISTER" image or the COUPLE image? Wahaha!! I cant believe it man. I can see that the Dragon girls especially like this type of "guys??", are the girls trying to find companion of a girl-friend instead of a boyfriend? I am not trying to be mean, but this is what is happening these days. No offence to the gay community! :)
Today
Today my MSN nick writes, "My cadet will always be my cadet! Friend! Period! Understand! I hope!! Haiz~". Because recently got something very happening in my corp. So I would like to make it straight to whichever cadets that are online. Dont wish to explain, the message is clear. Except for the I hope.. Because I need to choose my path. Hmm~ Actually today blog is just things that I wanna talk about lah, nothing special except the groaning part. Got that feel because jing ying was discussing with me "Being loved is better or loving others is better". So I suddenly got the feel to write, because I still got matter on hand that I need to settle. Think as i write lah..
Ok.. I consulted Chen Yie for a fee or $100(hehe!!). Her problem with the woman she puts it. I taught her how to think further, Metacognition. How to think further than what the situation may seems like. Ok. She have "grown up" a little tiny minute bit la, she understands the way I always think of things. I used the Newton kana hit by apple which he discover gravity theory to explain:
""the apple hit him and he would think that the apple is stupid why hit him
then if he think further, he will ask himself why did apple drop
because of gravity or what
you get the point?""
Simple example can mean great things, so nothing is as simple as it seems. Always think deep but dont get to the think too much lane or else you will be wasting your brain juice. =) I love Metacognition. Like I say in my title of my blog, Metacognition can bring you to Ultimate Ownage or Fallen Despair. Well! End here.. Sleep..
and so He speaks
Monday, December 12, 2005
Left my blog alone for quite awhile, almost one week le. Last time I stopped at kukup tour part one. I lazy to write detail now, so summary. Eat shit sleep! The end of the tour.. Muahahaha!! Btw, Kukup girls are beautiful, as I chanced upon one of the residents house selling wu xiang. The three daughters of the owner were beautiful, not very but under the beautiful category. Hope to go Kukup again!!
Nothing much happened from 6 Dec-8 Dec. On 9 Dec, i went out with Ong, WeiJian, Cliff and Bra. We went Seoul Garden at Jurong Point. Did not eat alot lah, only a little bit compared to the amount me and my Judokas eat at Zhen Fa and Yuki Yaki. We ate and I introduce my DEAR to my bros.. My dear is so beautiful, so slim, so petite. Love like siao. Hehe!! Guess Who??
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Got it? Wahaha!! It is my new Digital Camera, FX460 which my mum bought for me.. Hehe.. I love it so much that I even gave it a name "Spammer". Haha.. 5.1 megapixel, 12.2 total zoom and 2.5 inch LCD monitor. Easy to use compared to Bra's last time DC.. Haha.. Continue..
After Seoul Garden, we went to Lot 1 K pool without Bra as he had something else to do at home. We chiong for around 2 hrs, and I won all the matches against the three of them. (Should be lah) So happy! Then after that we went home. Nice celebration!!
Then come to the next day which is my Zone X "Zone Presentation Night". Reach CDANS around 5.35pm with Chen Yie. My motive there was to EAT only!! Seriously!! I did not go there to enjoy anything lor. Hehe!! Then we met up with others then we went in. We were sitted at table 2 where there were already 2 MS guys sitted. We got 10 person, then we had to sacrifice Ah Leow and Dicky. Hehe!! But candice came over and say that Jerilyn had to go over to table 6 as she was a recepient of the Commissioner Badge. She hesitated but still have to go lah. Then Dicky was saved from loneliness. Actually, I also need to go on stage to receive my Warrant Of Appointment. But I did not register my name at the reception because the time we went in the VIPs were coming in le. So bo bian lah.. Actually the committee were also at fault lah..
1. They did not had a planning as to who is supposed to sit which table or which corp is assigned to which table. So made the place little chaotic.
2. They did not have coordination between the ground crew and the stage crew. Some names were read wrongly, those who were here the name was not read like mine. Those who were not here their name was read, then cause some confusion and "coldness"created.
3. The last speech by Alice the chairman or advisor was too long and some part not appropriate/insulting. She said something like the pictures of the Senior Citizens last time were very thin compared to now. Obviously anyone can hear that it was a most inappropriate thing to say but the senior citizens were laughing awhile. Laugh until your teeth drop lah.. Muahahaha!!!
4. The PA system sucks! The voice was not clear, the videos and slides shown were not coordinated(got 2 comp). 1 screen was fine but too far to see from my table. The other was big, but the images were out of the screen. So = never see much thing. And, the music they play doesnt suit the event. They played the new Blackeyed Pea dunno what song. How can a presentation night have these songs. Never think sia..
5. This may not have to do with the committe but is good to take note. How come always got award is always the same school take de.. Is it corruption? Is it bribery? Or is pure favouritism? Dont wish to mention the name of the school.
Well! I think the best part of the night's event was to see my gi nas onstage to perform, sing, receive prizes. The singing by Laura and Simin was acceptable, but Laura seem abit disorientated or can call it stage shy. Then after theirs was the fashion show or dunno what they call it. Amelia was the model/representative of my corp. Made her up like an angel with wings and flowers and wands. I think she will like the wand more, because she is a Harry Potter fanatic. What are the three forbidden spells?? Hehe.. Really nice decorations + she so pretty = Pretty angel (Lame)
So i took my Dear to take photo. As I can see, my MSN photo and my friendster photo is the pic i took with Amelia. I really think the pic is very nice. Beautiful girl and handsome guy(Dont laugh) makes the photo perfect. Forgot to mention the posters that were designed by christine as the background. Wonderful combi!!
Then I took alot of photos of shixian, liwen, kahleng as they were sitting opp of me.. Hehe.. For fun de lah.. And someone else GRABBED my Dear and took hundreds, thousands, millions of photo of herself. EXTREMELY ZI LIAN sia!! Still dare say me wor.. =P
Then the dinner ended with the corp taking photos and Ah Leow taking our passport size for future uses. Jerilyn took christine car to go home, so I gave her my Dear, cert & door gift to bring home first. As i was holding two uniform covers, i told her to help me take as I handed my stuff to her. Then she went off taking Ah Leow uniform cover home. Did not realise that until Ah Leow asked me for the cover. Then i suddenly realised that the cover was taken home by Jerilyn. Then Ah Leow had to drive me, shi xian, choon siong to my house to go take and change his uniform out. Haha.. Careless of me and non thinking of Jerilyn. =P Then nothing special happened these two days.
Chen yie have been asking me to write about the girl I like as I have promise to write it in my previous few entry. But I got no feel to write it out lei.. Because I am in a dilema(as always because of my many perspective point of view and metacognition). There was this girl that I liked ever since she was in sec 1. But due to the fact that I am her senior in SJ, I dare not take action as I have to make a barrier between senior and junior. Did not know why I think this way, so I just waited and waited until she graduated this year. I was so happy when she finished her last paper. My MSN nick was counting down to that day lor.. But!!!!
I suddenly realise that something was missing. She now felt like a stranger to me. I dunno why. I just feel that my understanding of her was stucked at the time I left school which is her sec 2 yrs . My meomory of her stayed at 2003, two yrs behind time. It is like a feeling that someone you know for so long suddenly felt so alien,strange to you. We are like two boats, drifting further away from each other as the time goes by. I dont like this feeling. Ong have been asking me to show the passion in me to her. But I dare not. Something was not right. :"( Why am I in a dilema? Another girl pop into my life recently, maybe about 4-5 months ago. In SJ too. Do I continue to let the barrier affect me? Or do I ram it down? Who?
I have been thinking alot these few days. Why do I make so much sacrifice for SJAB? Is it worth my sacrifice? I choose Nursing because of SJ. I did not take any action because of SJ. How much more sacrifices must I make? Must my life revolve around SJ everytime? I am tired of it. I need to live my own life not the way SJ makes me. Btw, my results have been dropping. I got lots of C and D for my semester paper, which I do not appreciate. I need to give more to my studies in 2006.
"Change is a must and sacrifice is a requisite." I made it up last few days. Need to set another goal for myself. I do not wish to sacrifice again.
and so He speaks
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
My bird
day today!!! Dec 6!!! Final
ly 18!!! Time for a 18th resolution!!!
5 photos
4 events
3 cheese
2 "extras"
1 Cute Me
:) :P :D ;)
and so He speaks
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Wow!! Just came back from Kukup, Malaysia after a two days one night trip on 3-4 Dec. The place is not the ideal holiday resort that you will think of when you think of a seasidde resort/chalet. Actually it is much more of a Kampong like place where the buildings are made of concrete and wooden planks as the base. It will be a nice place for ppl to go and slack around to fish, K , eat some food like fried prawn biscuit (xia bing), ice balls and the most famous "Agar agar". The agar agar sells at RM6 per pack which consists of 12. So converted to sg should be around 20 cents each, which is DAMN cheap. But i discovered something, the taste of the agar agar is exactly the same from the one which you can buy from Swee Heng.. Hmm.. Maybe Swee Heng is selling the agar agar they bought from Kukup. Interested can go find out more..
First day
Meet my family members at Lot 1 taxi stand then took the mini bus provided to woodlands checkpoint. The queue there was long. The Singapore custom was nice, with aircon, efficient queue. Whereas at the Malaysia custom, the place was old and little rundown. And worst, IT IS VERY HOT!!!! I think the problem with the Malaysia custom is that the aircon on the ceilings are not clean, you can see layers and layers of dust on the rims. No wonder so hot.. We waited for about 40 min to cross the Malaysia custom. Reason being there were only 6 counters, and alot of ppl. And the queue divider was not proper at all. There was no marking or railings to indicate which lane to go to. Everyone was like squeezing in dont know how many line.. Haiz~ There is really a need to clean the aircons lah..
Then after the customs, was around 9.45 liao. Then we took the bus to Kukup. The trip was damn long sia, i think it took about at least near 1 hour to reach the jetty. Sianzzzzzzzzzz!!!! Then sit in the bus watch the taiwanese comedy, listen to my nano "November Chopin". Finally reach the jetty. At the jetty, there were alot of restaurants. Then we went into one that have already been booked for us. Most of the food was seafood, quite nice comparable to normal zhu cao place in SG. After eating, go take boat to the resort. The water was very dirty, alot of human thrown waste and little bit of dead fish
Hmm.. Wanna sleep liao.. Continue next blog part two..
and so He speaks
