The Next Big Thing
LimBei is my nick
KLKX is my name
design'by- *blackraeyn;
the lonely story
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Eighteen Time
Well! To start off. I really have not accomplish what i set out to do two or three days ago. Maybe is my fault, maybe is your fault. We just cant see face to face. I am scared, you are more scared. I want to tell you the things that i wanna say so so long ago. Just need 10 mins of your time. Is it so hard? I wanna settle the things that should have been settled years ago, I cant let it drag on to next year. I still have my school life, my SJ life, my judo life, my personal life. Like what Dicky have said before in his MSN nick, "I cant keep on waiting for you". Somewhat agree though. Why am I so harsh in the top? Because I have made the effort to take the first step, after much thinking, depression here and there.. Really really! I just need 10 min of your time. Let me say my piece and let nature take its course after that. Haiz~
Okok! On 25 Dec, the BLOODY CHRISTmas day, drank quite alot that day. As I have mention from the previous entry, drank two vodka around 12-1 am. Then in the afternoon, drank 1 more vodka, just feel like drinking. Then in the night, went out to meet Ong and Cliff to play pool. Bought two tiger and one Leo(thai beer). Then when we play finish around 11pm, we went to the coffeeshop to buy carrot cake. When i reach there, suddenly wanted to LS. Maybe because i drank too much earlier on. Then pass money to them then went Lot 1 toilet. Then i waited outside singpost, our usual hangout. Waited for quite long, until 11.35 then they come. And, they bought alot of things. Three carrot cake, two char kway teow. Haha.. So much lor. Three person five packet. As if came out from hell. Wahaha! Cliff lor.. Mad liao.. He damn hungry. We agreed on three carrot cake and three packet of water. Then become extra two char kway teow and 3 BIG GULP. I think ar 7-11 love us man. Whenever we buy beer, we dunno how to buy ice lor. Then we just go buy big gulp and pay so much extra. Haha.. I think next time go out must budget. My pocket lighter and lighter liao in the holiday. Spent so much. Actually got 100+ start holiday, now only left 20. Sianz~ So poor lor. And i realise I am a person who love alcohol, not 100% alcoholic, just love to drink. Maybe it numb me for awhile. "Jie Jiu Xiao Chou" the chinese call it. Maybe lor. Things not going very well these days. Lot of problems. But how, still have to settle one by one. Cannot throw away, who ask me "he~yao" my own backside. Continue. We were eating lor then chatting. My problem as mention aboved, they were teaching me. And i was nodding but not agreeing la. Must have my own thoughts sometime right. Anyway, thanks bros for your advices. I believe some stuff I have to do it myself in my own style to show the real me. Then Cliff was weak, haha... He cant finish his tiger. Haha.. Only I finished my leo. Dunno Ong got finish his tiger anot. Then went home. Cliff miss last LRT. Then we walk to Keat Hong there wait for NR3. And discussing some stuff. *secret**shh* Then we saw one NR3, the driver very F**K UP one lor. He saw both of us sitting at the busstop, then he never even slow down, just chiong straight ahead. Then me and Cliff were like looking at each other, and cursing the driver lor. I think SMRT or whatever company running bus should improve their quality of service. See ppl in bus stop at least slow down let them flag, and not see ppl then speed all the way to where? Hell ar! Muahahahaha!! Then he no choice, took cab home. Then i listen to my nano November's Chopin then walk home. Dunno why. These few days i love walking home. Especially at night. I little bit crazy these days. And i like to reach home when everyone is asleep. I reach home around 1.30am. Then online awhile then sleep.
Today 26/12/05 as usual, did nothing in the morning afternoon. Then meet Ong at CCK stadium at 4pm to go gym. So long never go liao. Weeks only la. Ong i think is months. Haha.. But now damn exp lor. $2.50 lor. But still student lor. Sianz~ Why cant ppl ruling the place thing. So what if I am 18. I am still a student. FULL TIME STUDENT! I still have 1.5 yrs before i graduate, Dont you all think that we should enjoy the student rate of $1.50 instead of adult rate. This is exactly like poly student ez link card. We still pay adult fare if we dont buy concession lor. I really wanna humtum lor.. JC student = student = 45/50 cents concession Poly student = not student = no 45/50 cents concession So what if I come out with a Diploma and can start working stat or after army. Cant A level student work stat. Why? Because they got no skill, skill at crapping around like in GP.
KCAAS this is the MOE or government standard of all the institution in sg. Knowledge, Comprehension, Application, Analysis, Synthesis. In poly, we only need to reach the KCA level, in JC i think is KCAA, not so sure about JC one. But Uni will be all 5. Because they need to make new knowledge(Synthesis). However, in nursing, we need the extra A because we are dealing with life and death things. need to analyse many things like lab result etc... Does being in JC really meet the KCAA standard. Dont think so.. Because I dont see the application unless "mian qiang" agree that in maths or physics or bio doing case study etc.. I really dont see. Not like poly, we go for attachment, hands on. Get screw upside down, inside out from the seniors in the organisation. So i really dont see the Application in A level.
Next, Analysis. Ok. This can be seen in GP. But, but but... Not everyone really have this analytical skill lor. Lalala~ Cut it short, in reality, if a firm wants to hire ppl. They will always choose Diploma first, A level cert can do what, wipe backside ar.. On a nicer tone to everyone, go JC if you are those whose hands on not so nice, love to bury yourself in books, and love to be hypocrites(for some JC :P). You have to know where you wanna go if you want study A then go U. Drop out of U = waste money. Poly tuition fee is 60,000 ( if not wrong), subsidized until 6,000. Then still got further subsidized etc.. U fee definitely much higher. Dunno the fee, but confirm more exp unless you damn clever get scholarship lor. Anyway, U student not all can get the Synthesis phase also. Seen some in my attachment la. Dont want talk about this. Enough of whining about $$$$$$$$$$$ concession. But it is a very BIG ?? as to why poly fare higher. Will it be something like old NKF?? Hope not. I believe in sg. Hope.
Back in the gym, did some things lor. Ong went easy today, me too. But some exercise heavier only la. Like 10 degree chest. Did until 64kg, not that heavy compare to my weight because i am weak i admit. Did leg press 390 pounds, as always. Not to show off la but i already between 270-280 pounds. I cant be doing my weight right. Will look like a loser lor. So dont envy guys. I did leg press just to show Choon kiat and Wee Kian la. Saw them in the gym, they were there so they somehow ask me demo. So just demo lor. So light only. *proud* Hehe!! Did other stuff, then went off at 6pm. Go Lot 1 eat LJS with Ong. Then eat until 6.55pm, he left to meet his friend to go woodlands library slack. We were discussing where to go during NYE. Dont wanna go K box. Exp. Plan to go see fire works in Esplanade, then go chiong pool, drink. Then wait for first train go home. Something like that. That is the program for NYE draft.
Then went home, online. Saw Simin(my sec 1) nick. Something like dont msg me or call me. Then i ask her what happen lor. She said lost phone in bus. Then heard from the other passengers is a couple took it away. Then she was like damn piss and sad. New phone lor. N3230. So nice phone. Then i was telling her to tell her mum to hold the line until get the new phone. Then she was like scared, because both her parents at home, scared of father scold + mother scold. She wanted to tell her mum next day, but how can. She wanted to hold her line herself but i think need some service number or what thing la. Which i think only can be found in the bill which her mother keeps. So told her to admit her mistake lor. Need to face the music also ma. It is a matter of now or later only. But it is better to hold line stat in case the shit fellow use the number dunno do what. So she finally go "zi shou" haha.. Then i went out to exercise awhile then came back. Talk to her again. And she was stuffing herself with chocalate. Wahaha.. Of course she cried la. Cry is good, release everything. Then her mum told her to buy new phone herself. She said that she is sad because her 128mb card is exp, and the phone is new, and the contact is gone. Haha.. If it was me, the thing i miss most will be the photos and contact. Phone of course will la, buddy buddy so long liao. So she is alright now. Good lor.
I think a blog is not the best place to know a person. Not all things are shown in the blogs. There is some deepest thought or dark secret that no one should know. If not, you will have no escape route for yourself or other parties. So, my blog does not reflect my 100% true self as I have many thinking that cant be put up. It will lead to chaos in my life and within my circle of friends. Except the words I use sometime is reflecting myself in real situation.
ps. Like I said before, the truth hurts. Sometime it is better to hide the truth and wear a mask. Too many mask = Burden.
and so He speaks
