The Next Big Thing

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the lonely story
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Fourty Three Time

Second day of CNY. Was woken up by my mother at 8.30am, just to eat breakfast. So tired man. Then wanted to sleep again, then dont feel like it. Then rakion. I think this CNY is for me to rakion and not celebrate. Sianz~ Then in the afternoon went to shop and save buy sodium bicarbonate, flour, self raising flour, cooking wine. Then i also buy water. Tried the yeos new flavour. The Pu~er Chrysanthemum and Tie Guan Yin. The first one sucks, then second one nice. ALso bought the heaven and earth mandrain orange green tea and it taste like Mirinda orange + tea. Saw bt, and she was running from my view. Haha.. I saw her coming in but she never see me. Then i walk around the shop look for things, saw her a few time but i never say hi. From the corner of my eyes i can see her liao, i think she dunno that i saw her. Wahaha.. I may have bad eye sight but i have an excellent vision to identify ppl that i know. Even if it is the back view also can recgonize. So dont try to run away from me,I will hunt you down. Hehe.. I think one mistake alot of ppl make to hide from someone is that they always like to move very fast. Fast moving objects are easier to spot then slow moving one. Doesnt mean move fast = Stealth. Haha.. Fast movement makes you even MORE prone to getting caught. Enough of stealth lesson. Haha.. Then she came over say Happy New Year but like very pai seh. Maybe her parents around. Haha..
Bought lunch too then go home. Make a new layout of this blog. haha.. And ct was saying that this is not call layout, it is call blogskin. Because layout must be done yourself, and skin is take from others then use. Well.. Wait till i get my hand on Photoshop. Wahaha.. Clear abit of the house, the living room, dining area because my grandmother coming for dinner at night. After dinner, i played mahjong with my mother, grandmother and uncle. Starting won quite alot, should be near $20. But who knows, late in the game. i was losing. We play two rounds. by the end of the game, i lost the $20 that my father give me, and maybe more. Because i owe my mother $12.80, but she waived it. So in total i should have lost $40 like that. Anyway, it is just a game.
Was talking to her on MSN. And she sounds like so er..... "talk for the sake of dismissing that person" attitude. Did not appreciate that attitude. Kind of rude. I dont like girls who are rude. The image of her in my mind is getting worse as days go by. I think it is time for a change. For the better or for the worst? I shall decide.
Just a word of advice for you and anyone out there. Being famous or more well known is not a reason for being a snob. I was even more well known or celebrated during my sec sch years in case you or anyone doesnt know that. But i wasnt a snob. For that, you failed. You want respect and name, EARN IT. Dont make yourself look like a NOOB, SNOB!! A high IQ does not mean a high EQ. Jabrooni!



Nitez to you ONLY!

and so He speaks

Monday, January 30, 2006
Fourty Two Time

First day of new year today. Morning to afternoon stay at home do nothing, rakioning. No visiting, so stay at home. Went grandmother house at 3pm. Saw everyone. My cousin was hot.. Haha.. First time i see so HOT.. One year younger than me. Haha.. And the best thing, she got no bf. Wahaha.. Brought spammer along, then took with all my cousins individually. Anyway my cousin name Michelle. Then when i took pic with her, her mother was saying "Stand closer, your hand on the shoulder" Walau... Damn paiseh man.. Haha.. Then my face turn red sia. Then my aunts was making fun la.. Well.. i always feel shy when taking pic with nice girls, so for those whom i dont blush when taking, YOU know what i mean. Wahaha(Mean).. Then took with all my cousin la.. Took alot of pic. Should be around 50+ pics. Then after all the photo taking, we change into simpler clothes then started playing bingo. A tradition to play it during new year when everyone is around. It is a way to kill time when we are bored. Luck wasnt with me. I never got any bingo. Then when it was near dinner time, we played something higher in stake. We need to fill the whole bingo card in order to win the prize. And one card now cost $1. So it adds up to $17. And mystey hongbao as extra prize. Of course. i won this match with my second aunt. As usual la.. I frequently win the last round of bingo. it have turn into a culture somehow. And before that i was telling my third aunt that i will win the last round, because i dont fancy the $0.20 per card bingo. Haha.. Boasting but true. All the luck was transfered to this match. Because everyone win the bingo at least once liao. I am the only one who never win and my another elder cousin too. So the prize money was $12 plus $10(mystery hongbao). So i got around $12.

After dinner, we play another game. My second aunt cut some paper dog into four pcs. Then the first round the adult will be blind folded. Then the older kids need to give instruction to stick it to the whole nicely. I pair with LJJ mother. I think the terms i use was too chim for her. She cant seem to put it nicely. So in the end we had a funny looking dog. Then second round, i pair with LJJ. He was blindfolded. Then i thought he can do it. Then to my dismay or horror or disappointment, we were the last team to finish it. I was like so shock lor. I thought we were gonna win for sure because we were competing with our younger cousins. Sianz~ Like mother like son. I dunno why lei. I dont think it is that difficult to paste 4 pieces of paper nicely on a wall blindfolded right. You just have to trace the outline with your hand then can agarate stick liao right. If it was me doing it, there will be no problem. Sure first to finish. Haha.. Nvm la. Just a small game. Hehe.. Then we had a lucky draw before everyone left. Only for the kids. We had 8 ppl and there were 4 hongbao. So that means 4 ppl must go home empty handed. Haha.. So the first four name picked out will not get the hong bao. i was quite happy. Because in previous years we play like who get called first will get it. And my name was always not called. nmaD. So i thought by calling the "losers" first, i sure can get one. Then the first name read out, "kai xuan". ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not again. I cant get the lucky draw. Haiz~ I think i use up all my luck in the full card bingo. Haha.. Nvm la.. At least i had a little fun playing though. Then when i reach home, i open my hongbao. To my surprise, i got $236 from my mother side. That is alot lor. From 6 relative and my grandmother neighbour. But, i got 8 hongbao. By right should have 7 only. Then got one extra. Haha... Mystery again. Nvm also. Just take. I should be keeping it all in the bank. My mother will kill me if i touch it. Haha.. Back to in the morning. I only bai nian with my mother as my father go out work liao when i woke up. I heard from my mother complaining that my father only give me $50 this year. Dunno if she was telling me or nagging to herself, but i somehow overheard it. Then when i get the money from her, she gave me $168. $100 from my father and $6 from her. Then i was like asking her "I thought you said papa give $50 only?" Then she just turn away like hiding something. I suspect she help my father top up another $50. Haiz~ Why like that? New year also like that. Sianz~ Dont want care also. I just love my mother more than my father. Bottomline!
I think i will not be putting the 168 in the bank. I want buy a new bag. now i got three bags. Small, medium, large. Small one the interior all torn liao. Then the medium one use very long liao(about 4-5yrs) and the handle spoil. Then the big one too big too carry around unless i got judo that day. So i am in a need to buy another bag. Make it a medium size one so can put books etc. I think i want buy a better one this time, not those ulu ulu bag easy torn. So i am thinking getting those adidas, nike kind. or any kind that can tahan heavy weight. Rough and big ppl carry heavy stuff and ill treat their bags. Haha.. Maybe go queensway to buy. Then go AH look around. Hehe.. Maybe visit wan teng if she is still around in Ikea. So maybe budget $60 to buy bag. Then the others ..... Valentine day gifts? Hmm~ Shall think about it. Buy OP bag? Wahaha.. lalala~
Now for some thinkings and thoughts. Why must I wear until so style to my grandmother house to bai nian when my house is only one, and i repeat, ONE pri sch away. Wear shirt la, wear jeans, wear boots. Damn hot lor.. And i think it is unnecessary. It is just to show everyone that you got new clothes etc.. How nice you look etc.. I ask my mother then she just say need to look nicer when bai nian. What kind of logic sia.. Why cant i wear my slipper and shorts and t-shirts. Same right. End of the day still change to civilian clothes to play. dont like this custom. Dont see a point/logic in it. Late, sleep.


Nitez
You too, you too.

and so He speaks

Sunday, January 29, 2006
Fourty One Time

A new lunar year. Year of the dog. But i dont feel a tinge of CNY this year round. Maybe due to the fact that i cant go visiting. SO make it more boring. or maybe is older liao, dont feel so happy. Today did nothing in the morning and afternoon, just stay online then play rakion. Go my grandmother house makan, quite nice. Prefer being with my mother family then my father side one. Then just now pray then see countdown.
Even though it is a festive season but still dont feel nice. Just now at my grandmother place, my aunt was talking about my big cousin. he only left 4 months in army. Then my aunt was saying to his mother can be grandmother soon liao. Of course it was a joke la. He got no gf also how to marry. Haha.. Opening up application for any girls who is interested in a 20 yr old male. Abit taller than me, but very fit and handsome, should be around 70-75kg. Staying in bugis area. haha... Then my aunt also talking about her daughter, she was saying if any guy wants her, then God bless him. Haha.. So bad sia.. Quite sensitive about this topic recently. Makes me think alot. A festive season need not be happy.
Tommorrow going grandmother house to play bingo with my cousins. Maybe still got other things to play la. Then monday and tuesday dunno do what. Rot at home. Well. Nothing much to say now. Next time.

Nitez~
You too, you too.

and so He speaks

Friday, January 27, 2006
Fourty Time

第一次

当你看着我 我没有开口 已被你猜透
爱是没把握 还是没有符合你的要求
是我自己想得太多 还是你也在闪躲
如果真的选择是我 我鼓起勇气去接受
不知不觉让实现开始闪烁

哦~第一次我 说爱你的时候 呼吸难过心不停的颤抖
哦~第一次我 牵起你的双手 轻轻放下不知该往哪儿走
那是一起相爱的理由 那是一起死守
哦~第一次吻 你深深的酒窝 想要清醒却冲昏了头
哦~第一次你 躺在我的胸口 二十四小时没有分开过
那是第一次知道天长地久

是我自己想得太多 还是你也在闪躲
如果真的选择是我 我鼓起勇气去接受
不知不觉让视线开始闪烁
哦~第一次我 说爱你的时候 呼吸难过心不停的颤抖
哦~第一次我 牵起你的双手 轻轻放下不知该往哪儿走
那是一起相爱的理由......对我

感觉你属于我 感觉你的眼朦
第一次就决定 绝不回错

哦~第一次我 说爱你的时候 呼吸难过心不停的颤抖
哦~第一次我 牵起你的双手 轻轻放下不知该往哪儿走
那是一起相爱的理由 那是一起死守
哦~第一次吻 你深深的酒窝 想要清醒却冲昏了头
哦~第一次你 躺在我的胸口 二十四小时没有分开过
那是第一次知道天长地久

Was listening to this in my uncle car. Nice song. I think i first sing it in K box. That guy who sing it only got two nice songs alone. Tong Hua and Di Yi Ci. Quite an old song but very nice. The song is not relevant to me but it got feel. nice lyrics. The most relevant part in this lyrics in my life is "是我自己想得太多 还是你也在闪躲", can be link to the things that happen during the dec holidays. Haiz~ Sad for me..

Today went sch at 10am, lab till 12. Makan at south canteen. Attend bio lecture at 1pm. It was damn boring lor. I cant believe i fell asleep in the lecture. because it rarely happens. The lecturer too monotonous liao la.. Cant take it. And there is 12 weeks of bio lecture to go. Sianz~ Then at 2pm go for my elective Leadership. Dunno if i have said it before. but i will still say it. When i choose this elective, i thought will be some boring leadership thingy. Like teach you auto cratic, democatic, laissez faire etc.. Which i have learn 4 yrs ago in BNCO. Make myself look damn old now. :D But after attending two lesson, i think it is rather fun. The way the lecturer talk. Btw, the lecturer is a psychology lecturer. Psychology is a damn great subject. Psychologist are ppl who are clever. Because they understand human nature but have to potray themselves as they dont really know to suit the flow of society. That is so special about them. He eat potato come back one. We learn more in depth or details thing about leadership. Participation etc.. Then we today play a game which i played before during the SJ teamwork thing. Everybody use pipe to hold a ping ping or marble so that it wont drop and put it into a container. Test teamwork, communication. Lesson ended around 4pm. Then he was saying he saw an article from some magazine or research that sarcasm is intelligence. Which he is praising himself. Haha.. But i also agree. Because i am also like that. Humour is also an intelligence. Which is also true for me. My humour comes from my sarcasm and my sarcasm comes from my humour. That is damn pro. Then go home get ready for reunion dinner at my uncle coffeeshop. Reach there around 7.30. Makan until 10 like that. Today food wasnt that grand la, quite simple only. Then nothing special.
Talking to li chween now on MSN, she asking me about the girl. Haiz~ Still feel very bad and sad when i mention it. I cant do anything now or maybe i cant force myself to force something to happen. It is not natural. I dont like to force ppl, let nature take its course. She also tell me to give her some time to consider. I dont have forever to wait for you. This may sound bad but it is pragmatic. Left 1.5yrs. Or else must wait another 3.5+ yrs after i come out from NS. Being single is good. No restriction. No burden. Freedom is the word. But sometimes when I see couples holding hand, doing silly stuff together, calling Dear or Darling or etc.. makes me feel low. Like yao zong and wan shi, jane and ah tan, karen and ivan, jason and ke hua, ay deng and jessica(judo) and maybe some of my classmates. Sometime feel so minute when with them. Like odd one out. All in pair then me either walk alone or talk to other singles.

Let have a analysis. Some ppl told me i am not caring enough. Which is true, i am not that nice to my friends most of the time. And most of the time i wear an expression of moodlessness, like staring into blank like that despite sometime ppl see me joke laugh around. Alot of time I am a loner, in NYP, go sch, go home all alone. Sometime i see myself as an entertainer, bringing joy and fun to ppl, which at the same time makes me feel even more lonely. Just like Jacky Wu, he is the best entertainer in taiwan, but his personal life sucks, all the scandals. I am like him.
Most ppl may not have notice, i am not really happy all the time. I can say that 9.5/10 when someone breaks a joke and i dont think it is funny. I just go with the crowd and smile or laugh la.. Because alot of jokes are so old or weak or lame, which i have heard or use so many time until i get numb hearing it. I hardly have a nice laugh, most of the ones i pull out is so called fakely produced.
Next, i love to play with ppl. Xinying once asked me in my sec sch yr. "Why you always like to bully/play with ppl? Is it because you like that girl?" Hmm~ This is the one question i have been thinking all this while, once in awhile. I think the answer is yes. It is not a 100% yes. Most of the ppl i like to bully are my friends or i think is my friend, it is my way of showing concern or love for them. Of course nobody can see it, they will see it as big bully small. But it is true la. Ever since pri sch been like this liao. Cant change. Dunno why also. Should be since young been alone, no one to accompany at home. Can see it as attention seeking behaviour. That is the bad thing about the only child. That should be all i can so called analyse now. Feel free to give feedback.

PK- Nitez!(This shall be the last time i write this phrase. i am tired of writing it. REGRET!)
You too, you too.



ps. Dont judge a book by its cover. 世上最远的距不是天崖海角,而是我在你身边,你却不知道我爱你!

and so He speaks

Thursday, January 26, 2006
Thirty Nine Time

Went sch at around 1130 today to eat lunch as class starts at 12. Wanted to go FJ eat terriyaki chicken. Then cannot find a sit. Saw the bastard grp(wahaha) chee yan and jieying. Wanted to sit with them, then saw sarah was right behind me. And found out that jessica was also around. So the table for 4 cant take 5 ppl. But what i was not very happy about is that, we were sitting in a 8 pax table. Then the chairs seperated into two side. They were sitting on one side, and another grp of girls on the other. The other grp of girls only got 2 ppl lor. Then they taking up 4 seat. I was expecting them to give up one seat to us AUTOMATICALLY! But sg ppl got no brain or heart one. See us got 5 ppl still sit there dont move. So bad right. Then i just tell my grp i go north canteen makan lor since nearer to the bio lab. Then chee yan was asking me, "Alone ar?". Then i reply " Ya lor, used to it". I dont see why to eat need so many ppl. Eating alone also quite nice right. No one to disturb you. No one to slow you down(in my case) or to hurry you. So i dont see a reason why need so many ppl to makan together to make so much noise. Then go NC eat. Started eating along, then yao zong and classmates came along, sat together for awhile. Then i made a move to class. Lab for 2 hrs, quite boring though. Then after lab, the guys wanted to go eat lunch. Haha.. Then in order to "yin chou", i also go lor. Haha.. We went SC. Then we saw the superstars. Kelvin Tan, Jason, Xing hui and jia li. SO surprise to see them in NYP. And i can see that their make up was damn thick. Haha.. They were sitting at the public area at first, then one sch lecturer brought them to the staff area, in order not to let any students disturb them. The girls were not that beautiful lor.. And very short. I was buying yong tau foo, xing hui also buying. Then she was standing beside me, she was only up till my shoulder. So i estimate is around 1.6. But she wearing high heels lei, so is much shorter lor. 1.5? tall. The other three go makan western food. Never go take pic or autograph with them, they not that great also la.. So that concludes my second lunch of the day. Haha..

Then went mac with guo hao to find joycelyn and liwen. They want go eat sushi. Walau.. Then i also go sia.. -_- Haha.. So that makes my dinner. We went to suki sushi at cineleisure. Didnt know that suki was much better sakae. Suki can order sashimi, $1.80-$4.90 things. Not like sakae can only call $1.90 stuff. So liwen was having fun eating all her salmon. Then guo hao stupidly eat his sushi again. Then me and joycelyn mix mix.. See anything nice just take. Hehe.. Joycelyn counted we took about 40+ yo around 50 plate. They think it is alot. Haha.. But i can finish 40+ plate with another friend of mine when on form. Haha.. So it is nothing. Was damn full lor.. After my two lunch. Eat until like want die liao. Haha.. We couldnt finish the food(suprisingly), then we decided to do some tricks. Haha.. Liwen brought plastic bag along and threw the leftovers away. So bad right.. But also not alot la. Then they were laughing around. They dunno how to do it sia. Want do bad things how can so obvious one. Then we eat until 5.30 like that. And our lesson starts at 6pm. I knew we were going to be late. Then we walk to lucky plaza wanted to take cab. Then see the queue so long. Then we decided call cab. By the time we get into cab, was 5.55pm like that. Damn late lor. And damn exp. On call is $4. Then city charge plus what gantry is $2. Then wwent past one ERP $0.50. Then the extra charges sums up to $6.50. Damn exp. Then when reach sch is about $14.70. So exp. Then reach around 6.23pm. Then the teacher was asking why so late lalala~ Then explain then she say need to make up lesson 1 hr someday. Guo hao wasnt happy, then later in the lesson he ask the teacher can dont make up anot. Since only 3 min.(Lesson official at 6.10, then grace period till 6.20, so considered 3 min late) Then he came up with all kind of funny reason, like CNY coming la. Damn funny lor.. Then the teacher also no choice la. Say no need make up. The rest of the class leave at 7.50 then we leave at 8. Fair to us la. Then we left at 8pm.
On the way out to sch, saw a guy who looks quite familiar. Then he approach me and intro. Ivan from National Camp 02. no wonder find him so familiar. He nursing yr 1. Then we were talking about how everyone is. Then he talk about Cecelia. Wow.. She look quite nice but nerd in 02. Then when i saw her in poly, she also nursing yr 2. She damn chio lor.. Tan skin, slightly coloured hair. Will nose bleed la.. Enough of her, she is for me to fantasize. Opps!! Haha.. Ivan remembered jia yang, brandon but he forgot ong. We went for national camp 02 as first aider. he also remembered the four of us used to sing 祝你一路顺风 in the camp. Didnt know he can remember it so well. i cant even remember lor. Can make a impression in other ppl mind. SO nice to think of it. Because i remember me leaving impression in ppl and not ppl leaving in me. Like jing ying, she said i say that her footdrill no good because her leg open very wide when she was sec 1. Which i dont remember. And some stuff that my cadets told me which i cant remember. It is nice to leave good impression or memorable one in ppl.

Having running nose now. Maybe going to have fever. It is culture for me to fall sick during CNY. Dunno why also la. Not destined to enjoy CNY healthy? Maybe lor. Either is sore throat or flu every year. Used liao la. Gonna have a reunion dinner tommorrow at my father side. Then on eve eat at my mother side. Never set any goal as to how much i wanna get la. Late.. Sleep now..

PK- Nitez
You too, you too.

and so He speaks

Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Thirty Eight Time

Went to sch at 10am for some paed meeting. Until about 1145, then went tutorial. Fazael grp discussed on Acute Liver Failure. Then makan at SC. Went lecture 2-3. Actually today is going to seoul garden makan celebrate bing ling birdday. But she having fever so we cancel lor. Then i also never bring judogi. So might as well not go today. Then go home rest. Roam around lot 1. Then one salesgirl came to me, intro me to buy perfume. She said one is $69. Then today special $20 per bottle. And buy one get one free. So that means $20 for two 80ml perfume, and it smell quite nice also. But is for girl la. So i say dont want then walk off. Then when i walk to buy bubble tea that time, remembered that i need to buy my mother a birdday present. Then i quickly go back find that person. But, i walk around lot 1, up and down. But cannot find the person. Sianz~ Wasted lor.. Then i went home first, later go lot 1 then buy. Reach home, online. Chatting. Then someone was asking to write a story of me. Of course not pro la, is some kids. Haha.. At least got someone wanna write. She want to write about me and her. Dunno for what also la.. Then i tell her there is nothing special about both of us also. Haha.. Then i suggest write about me and the other her. Suddenly, i wanted to cry again. Dunno why.. Just like yesterday, when i mention her i felt sad and feel like crying. Till now i still think it is a waste. Then the someone ask me tell her detail from last time till now. But i got no feel to tell her today. Need to collect my thoughts. Then we were discussing the title of the "book". I came up with english one, but she say it is a compilation of her friend story also. So i cant think of a english title. So i gave her a chinese title. 肋 aka rib. It got to do with the bible. But i dont give a nmad about it. It is said that God see that man is very lonely in the world. So he decided to take a rib from everyman to create a girl for them. So man need to find the girl/rib of their life to stop the agonising pain in their heart. It is nice. That is why i gave the title 肋. She thought i was talking about 泪 aka tears. Too cliche. Haha.. Rib sounds better, more profound, more space to think. Then she was saying that what about her friend. Because is a girl. Then like not fair. So i am thinking. Might as well make two book. Haha.. 肋之泪 for mine. 躯之泪 for her friend. Or the title put 肋与躯. So wait till i get my feel. Then tell her. In the mean time, i wanna write a song or maybe the lyric only. A chinese one. Because i think that not alot of song can make me have a feel. Only Suo Yi, Wo De Cuo, An Jing and Duan Dian can. I want to make my own song. let ppl know how i feel. Just like in a blog. In 我的错, i love this phrase. "都是为我的错错过这难得的拥有" In 安静, this phrase very nice "希望他是真的比我还要爱你 我才会逼自己离开" Actually i also like that korean song from Stairway to Heaven. The best K song i heard before.(Better than Full House :P)
I am sick now. Should be due to all the late night. Become heaty. Stay up too late liao. Then sleep only few hrs. No good. Sianz~ Before i forget. Wanted to put this down two or three entries ago. I can cook, maybe to many ppl disbelieve. Some rough ppl can cook ok!! Been independant since pri 3. Spend my after sch hrs alone. So need to do some cooking sometime. My best dish is spagetthi. All those fry vegetable, chicken or anything give me i also can cook for you. No kick. Hehe.. Only two person have eaten my spagetthi before. My mother and "stone girl". Looking for the third person that is worthy of tasting it. Eaten spagetthi from other places, still think mine still the best. And it doesnt even need alot of ingredients. Main one is mushroon. Hotdog, if want mince meat also can. I think it is the effort that counts. You can feel if the person making it got use heart anot. Wonder of cooking! i think cooking is a basic skill for survival. my cousin guy(21 this yr) cant even fry an egg. Haha.. So "good" right.. Anyway, girls need to know how to. I doubt my sec 2 can do it. Or maybe even sec 3. Wahaha.. Lalala~
Found a friend of mine strange these few weeks. Dunno why also. Hope you are ok. Late lor. Sleep and sick.


PK- Nitez
You too, you too.



P.S. Find Robert Langdon :P

and so He speaks

Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Thirty Seven Time

Went sch at 10am today. Skip first lecture then go library do psycho project. Doing on SLE(Systemic lupus Erythematosus), it is as chim as the name sounds. So coincidence that audrey was doing for her project too. Need to write psychosocial cause and impact regarding the disease. Impact got alot, but when i doing the causes, siao liao.. Cant find any cause, as it is a autoimmune disease where the person own cell attack its own cell. Then sianz man.. Went for the second lecture at 11am. Ask my group members how.. Then they say change topic lor.. And the best thing was, we need to hand up at 12pm. Then we decided to do lung thing. Then i choose COPD as it was my best subject. Because easiest to remember. Can anyone believe it, i manage to get it done in about 30 min time during lecture. Wahaha.. Then went for the tutorial. The teacher said it is good, the objectives were met and our path was right. Side track abit, in sec sch and poly is diff. Poly projects normally is just a question and some descriptions. Whereas in sec sch, the details are more and easier to follow. In poly need to think ourselves, so sometime can get in the wrong track. That is one diff between sec sch and poly student. Back.. Then go makan at FJ. Sat beside some lecturer, heard them gossiping. Should be talking about their management problem la.. Who cares anyway.. Then went library awhile, then follow guo hao for his grp meeting. Then went for my grp meeting for dengue fever. Discussed how to teach pri sch students. I need to make a big mosquito model. Wow!! My art sucks.. Hehe.. Then went for clinical lab. After which went NC drink coffee with meiting and grp and guo hao and the bastard grp. Haa.. Went for lecture. Left at 6pm. Meet my mother and aunt at 7.30 at lot 1. Then went goldheart. My mother bought a necklace for herself. Then she was hinting that her birthday is near (Feb 16), and she eyeing at the rings. The cheapest i saw there was 98 bucks. Damn exp.. For me la.. She said i still got 3 weeks. Let's see.. Three weeks money maybe = 150. Then i can only use 50 in three weeks. That is hard. So maybe i give diff things.. Then went seiyu, bought some stuff for my father. I think i dont like to shop with my mother. i enjoy going out with them during pri sch time. But now older liao, feel quite sianz..
Meiting was talking with me in the afternoon. She see my ipod got buddhist songs. Then she ask my religion. Then i told her i buddhist, then followed by anti christ. Then she was like little piss off. I dunno why she is piss. So what if she wants to be a christian. And me to be an anti. We have our own beliefs. I dont think anti christ is something to be ashamed of. You can think that Jesus sacrifice himself for you to pay for your sin. But i dont believe. And you or I have no right in changing that person belief unless it is life threatening. SO i dont see why i cant be an anti christ. I choose to not believe Jesus. Remember jabroonis, "You reap what you sow". So either one of us will go hell or heaven. Let time decide. So dont interfere with my belief. This is not a scolding, just to share what i feel and what i think.
Weishan was telling me to take pic with her someday while talking to her on MSN yesterday.. So nice right. From what i remember, she is the second who "volunteer" to want take pic with me. As she say it will be a damn cute pic.(AGREE!) Let me think! Dunno the pic take with li chween during grad night counted anot. Dunno is she ask me or i ask her also. Haha.. Maybe got some more la, but only got two i remember more vividly. First is you(?? :P), second is wei shan.

Talking with someone in MSN just now. We were talking about a girl. And she ask me about my past. The one which i dont which to talk about. I feel like crying whenever i talk about it or think about it. Because it was my fault. History is painful, even till today now. I can never forget it. There is no need to reveal so much details here. :'( The truth hurts. If i was more caring, daring two years ago, I might not be so sad now. I would have been a happy guy with full 24 ribs, not like now only got 23. I am real sad now. And we were talking about replacement. :'( Too sad to think now. Let me go sort out myself again.


PK- Nitez
You too, you too.



ps. Not all memories are happy one. Pain!

and so He speaks

Monday, January 23, 2006
Thirty Six Time

Started sch at 8am. Three hours of lecture, Then 1 hr break, went South canteen. Saw yao wei on the way back. Long time no see him. Even though in same poly but rarely see him around. Maybe because we on diff halves of the sch. That's the reason la. Then after that got for national education. 12-2. Talk about riots that happen in sg before. in 1950 and 1964. The maria hertogh one and the prophet birthdday that one. That's why got Racial Harmony Day on July 21. So history is quite dark. Especially politicians. Damn evil. That was in the past la. Now should be all right. Except when i see how tw politician have debate, make me want to laugh sia. Like kids lor.. Grab mic, splash water, throw cup and paper. Might as well buy super soaker shoot each other. Then buy whip cream whack each other face. More like a party. Haha.. Then bought my lecture notes today. And it is the 4th week of sch. Style right. How did i manage to survive for 3 weeks without any notes. Good memory and listening skill play a big role. Hehe.. Doesnt matter also la.. In the end also study myself, not much diff. Went home earliest today. At around 2.20pm. So good. Long time never go home in the hot afternoon. Finally one day go home early.

I was also talking to audrey yesterday, amelia sis. Nice talking to her. Talk mostly on nursing stuff. Talk around 1.5 hrs. From 12 to 1.30am like that. Found out that her objective during attachment got one exactly the same as mine. To perform last office. Never do before. Then talk about how to apply urosheath, thalassemia stuff, PRC in the course. I think both of us quite alot of stuff to talk about nursing. Hehe.. I think i talk more to audrey than amelia lor even though it was the first time.. Anyway, hope to see audrey in sch someday. Wanna see how she looks like since she say she looks diff from the sis.

Somehow patch up with ct today. Hehe.. i think i too bad to her liao. Said some bad things la.. Hope she is all right. And the pact shall stand no matter what happen. Good girl. Sayang sayang..

Puzzled by something again. Hmm~ Why is that so.. Maybe shaiful was right. But i hope it is not the truth. Dont wish to face it. Impending doom to over-exaggerate it.
Nothing more to say. Short day short entry.

PK- Nitez
You too, maybe you too.

and so He speaks

Sunday, January 22, 2006
Thirty Five Time

Woke up early today at around 8.30am. Went to Hougang Ave 1 to buy jeans and pants with my mother. Spent $100 only. That includes 3 jeans, 1 pants, 3 short pants. Haha... So worth it right. Normally jeans can cost around maybe $40+, but mine only $20. Haha.. So worth it. Who says big ppl cant find big clothes. in this small country, everything is catered for small or so called normal size ppl. Which makes ppl who are taller or bigger like me have a hard time getting around. Like in the bus, i can only choose 4 seats, because those are the bigger one. And most seat is short, always kana the leg and so squeezy. Back to the shopping. I was flipping the price tag of the short pants and i saw it is sold for $42. WOW!!! And i bought 3 for $20. And the quality is not those tear easily one, heavy duty one can wear very long and quite style. So it is not that bad for CNY. Came back home and slack around. Very sianz to go out after my 6 long tiring days. I only left sunday to slack. SO rest lor..
Now i see the power of blog again. Refering to someone blog which i think was refering to me, i can feel the aura. Well! If you wanna think so, then i cant do anything. Now i feel blog is another channel for someone to scold someone or what i call backstab. Is it right? Hell knows! Maybe next time i wanna screw ppl, i use nicks. Like the one i use in entry 22 and 23. I think it is a fine piece of metaphor. Just like Jacques Sauniere in DaVinci Code. Nobody understands it except me, even my most clever bestest friend Cliff dont understand. Wahaha.. I am not as simple as you think, Jabroonis! Anyway, I wanna repeat again. "The truth hurts" so one have to face the light or get suck into blackhole of deception. Power of language. So beautiful yet so destructive. One day i will write a chinese blog when i get my own com back. It will be a fine piece of essay written in beautiful chinese for all to view and taking everyone breath away. Just to mention, even though my chinese got B3 for O level, my understanding of it and the way i use it is far better than an A1 student. Just that i cant write nice compo in my sec sch years. Damn!
Found out that my father com is damn good. My uncle who helped set it up said that it is a limited edition com. The graphic card is a duo piece, so it doesnt even need to use the RAM to run high quality games. WOW! Not sure about com stat also. 2GHz processor, 1G RAM. Should be damn power lor.. Should be better than Cliff laptop. Wahaha.. Only that the internet no good because it is wireless. Or else it will be a perfect gaming com.
Break my blister on the left toe, no pain at all. It is about one fingernail big. In first aid, cannot break blister. because scared that the thing use to break the blister is not sterile or clean which may cause it to be infected. But in hospital, the blister will be broken to allow the wound to heal faster. Maybe first aid and hospitals got collaborate one. Like ask first aider dont break, then when sent to hospital then break. So that the hospital can charge the casualty for the dressing. Haha.. It is a good guess and kind of link, but dunno is it true anot. Any smarty pants can go check it out. =p
Invited May to view this blog as she requested or force. Haha.. Anyway, looking back on the entries i think there is some very interesting one. Scolding one, exposing one are worth looking at. But realise very long never put pic liao. No feel to put. Never take anything nice. So wait till i take beautiful things then i put.

and so He speaks

Saturday, January 21, 2006
Thirty Four Time

Too tired to write anything yesterday. So write today. Yesterday got judo performance also. Ours was at 5pm. Not alot of ppl. More of NYP ppl than others. Receive good applause again. I actually saw the expression on a business IT student when ay deng was thrown. He was like damn shock because he almost flew out of the mat. His face was damn funny lor, like a gu niang. LOL! Who cares about him la. I dont like gu niangs. Then the last performance was from TKD. On a little note, they are not well prepared. On a serious note, they SUCK. Their kick was weak. And their so called coordinated sparring was like shit. The person kana kicked didnt know how to fall. And their timing was off like hell. And one guy fell wrongly and hurt his back. Serve him right. Alot of judoka said after the performance that they have join the right martial art. We were so proud of ourselves. Hehe.. And the worst thing they did, was to break the wood they are holding even though the person never hit it. RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR EYES!! Wahahahahahaha.... They are weaklings.. Then on our way back to the dojo, we were mocking them. Saying that they no good etc... Then we came up with a good phrase. "We break bone, they break wood". Which is true la. Judoka very easily get injured. My left arm got some contusion after the performance. And one of my club ppl broke his forearm last time. So violent right. Haha.. Then in the dojo, everyone was playing with TKD performance thing. We use shadowless kick and other kick to imitate their performance. So funny. Long time the club never get so wild liao. But dunno if it will last. Well.. Appreciate what is on hand now before it disappear.
Yesterday was the earliest i reach home. 7.30pm. Last four days i reach home at around 11pm. So damn tired. Anyway, it is time well spent. Even though my left last toe hurt like siao, it is a worthwhile sacrifice. At elast i am happy with the performance, so pain is temporary and honour is forever. I think i made a impact/name for myself in the back of the mind of those present. Haha.. Because my performance was the finale and somehow the worth watching part. Hehe..

Today went to KSS for training. 9-5 again. Taught BJM(Bone Jone Muscle) bio. Very short lesson. Took about 1hr15min. Then the rest let ong do transportation. Never see how they did because was accompanying wan lin at the foyer. She fell down the stairs then waited for ah leow to come to help send her home lor. Nothing serious, only a little swollen left ankle. Then went lunch at limbang. Came back and have footdrill. Did the formation. Quite ok looking la. Had a hard time coordinating it. The timing and positioning. Can say finally we did it. But there was one thing that was not done before that. The sizing. Forgotten to do sizing. because some ppl were taken away before we did the formation. well.. It is a mistake. But this mistake made me disappointed in the squad. CT cried. I was disappointed in her today. She forgotten the pact we made. Dunno what to say about that. It is just a change in their positioning. And, it is only the FIRST training. I emphasize the FIRST training. So what is there to be angry/annoyed/unhappy about. The formation is not finalised yet. Must try several one to see which one is more do-able and impressive right. So i see no point in their behaviour. Utter Childishness! Showing their weakness in flexibility. If you are good, you will be able to take up any challenges post to you. If you are weak, may god blast you! Hell to you! I dont like weaklings in my corp. I want quality. Quantity is low, so i will expect quality. If there is low quantity and low quality, what is the point of training. Might as well stay at home rot, or go Lot 1 be stupid lian/beng who is a pest to the society. I am not training ppl to be weaklings, i want them to be independant and have great teamwork. Not only in SJ but also in life. What you see happening in SJ also reflect their real life. If you are weak and admit you are weak, and want to change, you are good. If you are weak and dont admit it, and refuse to change, you are a lowly inferior wimp. Not worthy of anyone pity or teaching you. I also heard from someone saying the mother want to complain why we have such damn long training on sat. WTH! I have never like parents who refuse or dont agree to CCA. Come on la.. Your child is going for training and not shopping around some shopping malls and smoking right. They are spending quality time and not just bull shitting lei.. Cant anyone spare a thought for those trainers who spend their precious weekend in a sch rather than going out with friends for the sake of moulding a kid into a better person. My timetable makes me go home at night for 3 day a week. Then if i got lesson for the training i only got two days to do. You think LimBei got so much free time entertain shit complaints. The hours spend in planning the year program is already damn F**KED up. What about the time we need to spend in teaching them? It can clock up to 100++ of hours or more a year for me. What do i get in the end? All these pathetic shit! Just dont understand parents of the other generation. If i was the child, i will be scolding them liao. For me, if my mother ever ask me why need to spend so much time in Sj, judo. I will scold her. For what? For being a pampered parent who doesnt appreciate trainings. Not letting a child go CCA = Ruin the future of the child. Sianz~ Dunno how ppl think nowdays. Getting more annoyed as time goes by. And, i dunno why the heck ppl need to get so angry about fallen posters. one word. Shit!
Next, i was thinking for quite long also. Spending more time = less respect? Spending less time = more respect? SHIT! BULL SHIT! Think! It is kind of Ironic but true now. Which i dont appreciate.
Some last words of advice. To achieve something, sacrifice is a must. To get good academic result, you need to sacrifice leisure time. To win a comp, you need to sacrifice your playtime, and/or your CHILDISHNESS. For me. i aim to play a nice soccer game today which i did. But in the end, i got a big broken blister on my left toe and skin was torn beneath it. And big unbroken blister on right toe. That is the sacrifice that i am talking about. Maybe not physically but mentally. Think about it!
PK- Nitez!
You too, but not you.


ps. Like i have said, "Change is a must and sacrifice is a requisite". And i repeat, I dont appreciate WEAKLINGS!

and so He speaks

Thursday, January 19, 2006
Thirty Three Time

Aiya. Deleted my first draft. Sianz~ Nvm. Write shorter now. Today go sch 9.30am. Have one trial run before lunch. Then had two trial after lunch. After that made our way to atrium. Had quite alot of ppl. But i think more than half is NYP ppl. The performance was good. Especially my part, haha... The self defence part was good. Good response, because we were all wearing normal clothes. So it is more pain. I can feel the ache and sore on my back now. Ab,neck,left leg, biceps, forearm all so sore. Then tommorrow still got sia. It will be damn sore liao lor. "Pain is temporary, Honour is forever!" Lol! Dont see the honour, more pain. Haha.. Then went lecture then got clinical lab. That's all la.
Feeling very tired now. Sore and pain. Got a blister on the superior medial side of the right feet. Then sat got soccer. How? Hehe.. Try la. Must trash Shaiful on sat. Haha.. Because i bought sch shoes today. The northstar one, the no cushion one. Wahaha.. The shoe is back, now is for the game only. Watch out Shaiful, The Next Big Thing Is Back! Still left notes for sat havent done yet. So tired to do. I think only left tommorrow night. Too tired to do now. No brain juice left.
Anyway, some one called me Darling on MSN just now.. Haha.. So surprising. That person always full of surprises one. Just like how i get to know her. It was also a surprise what she said to me when she befriend me. Haha... Lalala~ Dont think too much.. Was watcing some show just now, the 9pm ch8 one. Found one phrase quite style. "A relationship is like paper, you need a brush and ink to paint beautiful pictures/memory on it" I am the brush. And i am still looking for that ink. Actually the phrase which i love the most is "Girl is made from a rib of a guy. The guy need to look for the rib in his life to stop the heart ache he is feeling from time to time" So i am also looking for the rib in my life. Hmm~ When? Who? How? Haiz~ Sianz again.. Nature does not necessary take its course.
PK- Nitez!
You too, You too.

and so He speaks

Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Thirty Two Time

Yesterday went sch at 10am. Reach home at 11.30pm. Wow!! I am getting home late. Got judo with jane and wan shi and yao zong. Jane and wan shi practicing their throw. Then me just go look see around. Other than that nothing special happened yesterday.
Today went sch at 12pm. Got a meeting with the paed group. Doing some booth things for our ICA. We were dividing the work. Actually dont need to meet at 12. Because lesson starts at 2pm. And only one hour for today. Skip that lecture than go dojo rest. Started training at 4pm. I took the warm up session today. First time in 1.5 yrs. Still able to make it. But i think i a little off. Never mind also. Long time never take PT lesson liao. Still got alot of time for me to try in KSS. So no need scared. After warm up, we did rehearsal things for tommorrow and friday. Me confirm performing rolling breakfall and the throw change to O-Soto Otoshi. The rolling breakfall was nice. The throw was difficult today, because it is first time using that move, and just learn today. Still can make it. Then after one run, we had nothing to do. We were all training ourselves, doing the throw that will be performed. Then since our black belt is there, ask him some pointers. But i found out that my Harai Goshi sucks now. I cant do it nicely liao. Have a hard time throwing yao zong(90+kg) that's why change to another throw. One of my favourite throw off form, need to go train. But still like O-Soto Gari, more power. By the way, if it is done on hard ground, i think it is 50% chance of having head concussion/bleeding internally. And the other 25% maybe injured spine/fracture limbs and the other 25%?? Death lor.. Haha.. That is my analysis, feel free to verify. Haha..
Then had groundwork, and Subiyanto was quite strong. Had a hard time bringing him on the ground. Lost to him.. Haha.. But a good game. I will take my revenge someday when i am on form again. Anyway, IVP coming. Need to train abit harder for it. Dont get gold also get a bronze. Aim for gold first la. Same thing for my FAC teams. Dont run CT.. Haha.. And the most important performance of the open house will be done by me and Jason(brown belt). It is called the Flying juji in short. It is a arm bar take down. From the standing position then i grab him, he grab my hand then step on my leg. Then he make take me down by throwing(literally) his leg at my face.Then i will fall on my back and while on the ground he will twist my arm. That is the overview. Why i say throwing his leg at my face? Because my mouth hurts when i fall because his legs land on my head. And i bite on my tongue once because i was making sound effects. Then i decided to shout after i fall to minimise biting my tongue. I think got ulcer on the lower inner lips, but no bleeding seen. And the best of all it! It is an unarmed combat demo. We were practising it half naked in the dojo just now. And that increase the difficulty as we are use to grabbing the gi. So he had to press on to my hand and i support his whole weight on my left arm before we drop. So tommorrow we will be performing it with normal t-shirts and it is not a tatami, it is just foam mat. imagine the pain. WoW! Anyway, it is for performance, so just finish it and over. Then makan at NYP mac. Then go home. Tommorrow will be long day again. Meet at 9.30am. Then perform at 1.45pm. Lesson till 8pm. Sianz~
And, molecular biotech not fair. Haha.. Whole yr 2 no class to help out in open house. So nice. How i wish nursing can like that. Because got go sch never go sch also same one. Haha.. Still learn by self. So you can see how "great" the sch system is. Lalala~

Feel that this week i got no time for myself. Go sch then judo. So tired. Still got two more days to go. And my gi smells. SMELLS!! And i have no time to do my notes for sat. Only left friday night. Haiz~ What a week! What a life! Imagine it. And i think really cant get any more info about Thalassemia liao. It is too mild for the medical books to write. And even if it writes, it is too chim for me to understand, so the more she cant understand. So i have to hand in a blank paper on sat? Haha..

Today reading DaVinci code on the way to sch. Got one part really puzzled me. The cross or crucifix is a symbol for christianity. I was wondering if anybody ever wondered why it is call a cross. In another dunno what language that it is translated from, it means TORTURE. So that means i can pray to the electric chair, whip, gun, knives,dildo etc??? Dont anyone find it ironic? Praying to torture? What does it means? It means it is evil? It is for you to decipher. The best answer i can think of for ppl believing that cross is a great symbol is that they want to bear in mind that jesus was pin on that and tortured. -_- What a reason! So it is for yourself to decide your religion, if you think it is good, then bear the consequences. The famous phrase " You reap what you sow" and plus one more, "dont go to mummy and cry when the milk is spilt." Lalala~ Enough of talking. Want sleep liao. Long day ahead, long week ahead.
Pk- Nitez!
You too, You too.

and so He speaks

Monday, January 16, 2006
Thirty One Time

Started sch at 8 am today, and i reach home at around 11pm. Haha.. That is 16 hours out of home and 14 hours in sch. Damn long. Had lecture from 8-11, boring lectures. Then went south canteen makan. Had National Education at 12-2. The teacher was asking us to discuss what makes sg a home. Then of course must put nice things la. Haha.. There is one particular reason which my classmates gave which i wasnt so sure about it. They say good government.. Hmm~ It is for everyone to decide for yourself, no comments. Lalala~ Then after that, went to library to look for info about Thalassemia. Quite hard to understand because i was reading the Hematology book on children. Then there were so many chim term which i also dont understand. Not only got alpha, beta, delta thalassemia, there is still sub catergorys for each. Like silent, Hb F and etc... It is about 60 +++++ pages of info on Thalassemia. See until wanna sleep, but once i on my hp. Haha.. Different case. But actually not every page is useful la, because alot of it says about particular genes and cells and all kinds of number came out which I ????.. But anyway, i found out that it is not a serious blood disorder. It is just the hemeglobin in the RBC defective or the RBC die faster. So the blood carries less oxygen. There may be splenomegaly(spleen enlargement) due to the breaking down of RBC. Then i just saw from one website, there may be iron deficiency also. I suspect it is alpha thalassemia she is suffering from, because the prevalance is higher in chinese. There is no interventions stated. Flip through 3 medical surgical book and one patient education book, only stated can eat more iron,folic acid and one which i forgot is what liao. Told her wanna give her some info, but like nothing much liao which i can provide. Because the main medical intervention is bone marrow transplant, but i dont think is that serious. So maybe next few days go find if there is any more, maybe on health education and precautions lor.
Then i also read through the EMS or basic trauma life support book which George Sir taught us with 4-5 years ago. Lol.. Like so old now.. By campbell 3rd edition. Then was flipping the primary survey page and realise that there is some minor detail which i never taught to the last year FAC teams. The books advises on how to manage the case which i also never know until when i read through. Must go study it again. Sianz~ That is another obstacle to cross again. First, First aid. Second, Home nursing. Third, FAC things. Fourth, Soccer com. Fifth, Footdrill com. So much accumalating, and to be achieved in 6 months. Unbelievable right but it is true. What if i fail my sem paper? Haha... Hope not la. Dont want waste half a year in NYP.
Then after that went to judo at 5pm. Slack around the dojo talk around, see XMM from dunno which sch playing hockey. Haha.. We were sort of enjoying ourself la. :P Then started warm up at around 6pm, individual warm up. Felt in good form today. Tried floating rolling fall. it is like throwing yourself and spinning 270 degree and land nicely on your back. I tried but not nice. Because some were off centre. And VERY PAIN!! Imagine a 125 kg person throwing himself and landing not nice. That doesnt sounds nice at all. And i think it sounds pain. Lol.. But still can survive la. Then the Bei Quan Dao ppl were looking at ourself, when i breakfall they look in astonishment. Haha.. Quite slack there. Because i only got one throw and one breakfall. One Harai Goshi with yao zong, and rolling break fall. Waste time sia.. Then Anthony was like changing alot of things, making himself in the limelight of the performance. As if he very good like that. Only know how to brag. And throw ppl so hard. He injure yao zong arm when throwing a sacrificial throw. he was holding yao zong hand and did not release after throwing, and his weight land on yao zong hand. What a "good" tori! But anyway, his girl was worse. A brown belt liao, dont even know how to throw a white-yellow belt throw properly. She going to do Ippon Seoi Nage, when she steps in her butt so close to Karen(uke), dont even have space for Karen to help her lor. BROWN belt lei.. One more level is black liao lor. And we were trying to help her by telling her to keep the butt further but she never listen, end up looks so bad. WTH! She sucks man!! Truly, deeply, sincerely sucks! I think i can do a better job than her. She can go take her adidas brown belt h**g herself. Haha.. Evil.. Dont try this at home. She was also ask to help stand in for one of the other brown belt who wasnt here today, she refuse lor. It is only one throw and she say wait for Lynn come back do. WTH again! Cant you just help to stand in today to make the show run smoothly. Wa lau! I think she becoming weaker liao la. Dont even want to do ukemi. just sit there whole day look at us, biting her nails(yucks). Btw, judoka are not allowed to keep long nails because we do alot of pulling and long nails can make matter worse. Not only can hurt opponent, the person finger nail can also drop out. I will be laughing at her when the day her fingernail drops out. She deserve it. And i emphasize, she is a BROWN belt. Disgrace to the club, disgrace to judo, disrespect to our founder and grand master Jigoro Kano. If this was in Japan, i think she will not be allowed to take part in judo as she does not respect it.

Then wanted to have dinner at mac in sch, then see there was nothing left to eat(mc wings , mc nuggets). Can fill what? The little corner of the stomach? Haha.. So decided not to eat at mac. Eat at home hotdog and egg bread. Then in the train, we were discussing about the performance with wan shi and yao zong and joseph. Wan shi partner Jane never come for training. To make matter worse, she sucks at judo. She cant throw properly, and she cant even breakfall properly. And always injure for no apparent reasons, then fall out and sit one side slack. Weakass aka WA! i dont like weak people, if you are weak, admit it and do something about it rather than escape from reality. The truth hurts(dunno say how many X liao), learn to accept it. Not only in judo, i also means things and ppl around me. No use running from reality, you will sink deeper and deeper and in the end, drown yourself in sorrows and tears. WAs! NOOB!
Enough of reality. The truth now is ..... I wanna sleep liao. Start class at 10am. Be back soon.
PK- Nitez
You too, You too.

and so He speaks

Sunday, January 15, 2006
Thirty Time

Today sunday, woke up at 8.30am. Then went for breakfast with my mother at delifrance. So long never makan with her, maybe 1 week or so la. She busy with the praying stuff so got no chance to makan with her this week. Then went NTUC after that, bought some things then go home. Then later in the afternoon went grandmother house, play table tennis with my cousin Lin Jun Jie(haha) and my uncle. Did not really like it, because used to using alot of force with badminton racket, suddenly got small racket on hand, felt rather uncomfortable. Had dinner there then came back home make three small. Overall, it is a boring or family day.
Thinking of something again, alot of things to think now. Discovered that i have alot more obstacles than i thought i have this sat. it will be me alone vs dunno how many person again. Dunno why always i have to stand alone and fight. Haha.. not born a fighter but must fight like a fighter. So ironic to think of it. I will stand by "Skills with knowledge" concept and not just "Skills" alone. I predict a hard year ahead for me.
Next thing, i discovered something today. Which i was happy about, but in the same time not so sure about it. Even though i have thought of it, but it doesnt seem right again. Dilemma all the time. Born in a dilemma world with dilemma thoughts and dilemma people. So i will just lalala~ for awhile until i can see a better tommorrow. Start class at 8am tommorrow. Sleep now!
PK- Nitez~
You too you too..

and so He speaks

Twenty Nine Time

Friday went to Bugis go change PS2 disc. Meet Cliff, he bought RE4, then we makan BK. Go back CCK play pool. This time round, we tried no taiko ball. And guess what! The taiko king(which is me) still can thrash him. Wahaha.. I think the score should be around 50/50. Good game overall.

Sat which is today. Went KSS for training. Teach CVS 3 hr today. Few commented to me what is the point of learning this biology things got to do with FA. Maybe because i am in nursing course, so there is a need for me to know alot of bio things. Even if i want to know about some minor disease, the minimum that I must know is how the disease work and how it affects the part of the body or the system. eg. If i want to know about asthma, i will have to know how the respiratory system work, how it will affect the system etc... So i dont see a need why first aiders can use first aid without knowing how the systems in the body work. Isnt it like a nurse who take care of a patient and doesnt know how his condition will affect him/her. Come to think of it, how will you feel if the patient is your father or mother or dear one, a nurse who doesnt know anything take care of them. Will you feel safe in putting your love one's life in their hand? eg. Your uncle went in to hospital because of congestive heart failure, then the nurse is a noob and never restrict his fluid intake. What will happen? Your uncle condition may get worse, water go to his heart, then how? DIE la.. Same thing apply to first aid. You treat a casualty with a stab wound to the thoracic cavity, what can you suspect? pneumothorax, hemothorax etc... How many first aider in singapore know the pressure in the atmospheric air is 760mmhg? And how many of them know what is air in pleural cavity? See the point. You are treating a person with pneumothorax, and the first aider can tell you it is a hole in the lung or a hole in some God know where place. What shit is this? Hole in the pleural cavity = hole in the lung = LAYMAN! = NOOB! Even though first aid is just a simple skill, why not take the effort and time to go understand more about it in order to more efficiently know the casualty conditon and sign and symptoms? For me, before i get into nursing course, i didnt know what is the real pneumothorax. I always thought it is hole in lung until i learn bio science. See. How noob can a first aider get! I am not stressing on pneumothorax, i am only giving example. And how many first aiders know what is hernia, jugular vein distension? I guess it is 99.9999999% of the first aiders doesnt know what are these. And which first aider can tell you angina pectoris leads to heart attack leads to cardiac arrest? Same. 0.000000001% know only. How pathetic can first aiders in sg get? NOOBs!! No wonder the image of SJ is always bad. A dying organization! If a piece of shit refuse to get out of the deep shit he is in, he will always be a piece of shit in deep shit. PATHETIC! INCORRIGIBLE PIECE OF MONKEY SHIT! On a better note, you reap what you sow. You sow shit, you reap shit and nothing more. PERIOD~ You sow the seed of knowledge, you reap a tree of knowledge. Why cant ppl understand this simple theory? Is it because the truth hurts? Haiz~ Weaklings.
Continue. After FA is lunch, went limbang makan with ong and ah leow. Wei Jian met us there also. Then after that is transportation. had a "competition" and the boys lost to the girls. Expected? Maybe.. Then was footdrill, but i never went for the first hour. Soccer with Ong, choon kiat and wei jian. Accuracy went down because of the stupid sports shoes i wearing. I still prefer my old sch shoes. Because it got no cushion or paddings, so there is no restriction in the way i want to hit the ball. Miss my old shoes! Then for the second hour, went to parade square have a Super Commander contest between Shaiful,Yan hsiang,Sok Ting and Christine. All not that bad, but i better. Haha.. I was thinking, was i kind of biased towards ********* Hmm~ maybe because of the pact that i made. So had a few rounds of elimination, finally. Sok Ting was chosen to be the commander and yan hsiang reserve. Sze him was asking me on MSN why ST was chosen. The essence of the reason is " Full grown flower and partially grown flower." A person with IQ of 30 can undestand this. If you dont understand..... Haha... may God blast you.

Then after footdrill is soccer, had some basic passing trainings with them. Then i saw something no nice, ah leow came in and kick the ball at her. Well. It is soccer, and balls got no eyes. So lalalala~ Then we went up the volley ball court, played a 7 vs 8 match. Like i said, i hate my shoes now. No form. Cant handle the ball well with it. Play until damn tired, dunno is i go for com or they go for com. Haha.. Play until like i am going for competition like that. So tired. old liao la.. And shaiful just told me on MSN i did something not so good again, which i did not realise. And i dont think it happen, haha.. So forget about it. Late liao.. Wanna sleep le. i will be back when i will be back.
PK- nitez!
You too, you too.




ps. A person controls his/her path, to destruction or to glory. If you want to be a noob forever, get out of my sight.

and so He speaks

Thursday, January 12, 2006
Twenty Eight Time

Nothing special happened these days. Qion wen and yi ying elected new leader in class. No comments. Good time for me to rest. Had National Education yesterday 11/1/06. Actually is crime talk la.. Nothing special. Waste time only. Sit at auditorium 3 hrs plus rot. After that go pray or change luck la. Wasted time there again. Because nothing to do. Then went home at 10 plus myself because too waste time liao.
Today wake up, do the notes for this week FA lesson. CVS. Quite hard to understand. So hope the kids can understand. Going to KSS later, for my Linner or Drunch. And of course CCA open house la. Then 6pm got lesson. Rush. Haha.. i miss my cadets more than i miss my classmates. Lol! Oh! And i hope mint is not injured.
Thinking of something for maybe a month. I think started thinking in Dec 10 or so. It is not right but i am still thinking. Think and think. Maybe there is no answer, maybe there is an answer. What will happen when there is no answer and what will happen when there is an answer? How can i face the answer, how can i not face the answer? Lalala~ Thinking on the way.
PK- Hope you are fine.
Off to KSS now. Brb!



Back from KSS and NYP now. The open house wasnt a big sucess. Due to the "great" effort by the sch to make the sec 1 stay back. One hall to fit all the CCA in KSS? I dont see all the CCA actually, only uniform group and some clubs. So it wasnt a very well planned open house. Me help out with nothing special, placement of equipments. Some minor details here and there. They name the publicity people as "aggressors", haha.. Not as aggressive as I thought their title would be. Kind of soft. Compared to the time I was still in KSS. We were more aggressive, we were basically pulling ppl around the booth. And i mean PULL not go there say "come see our booth" only. So memorable! Those were the days. Now old liao, cant do all those stuff anymore. Haha.. Glad to see so many cadets helping out. But quantity not = Quality. So to speak. I think the skit was good, the actor Shaiful and Yan hsiang. When i was wondering why their skit did not start, and while i was speaking to Shaiful, I see Yan Hsiang rush over slashing him. Haha.. Really very real. The FA part was good. But the transport part was off. I saw William holding the neck to bring Shaiful up. Obviously, it was wrong. But of course i cannot say anything during that time, got so many sec 1 looking. Later we pai seh. Conclusion for the guys, train more and harder.

Saw Jing Ying, WeiFen and Soo Hui, three crazy ppl. Dancing in SJ room, dancing around staff room. Making so much noise. They really crazy ppl la. At least they came back to look see around. I think one of the cadet said something wrong, which piss off one of the teacher from NPCC. Then the teacher was saying dunno what thing. I think I know who that person is, should be la. Only that person with that kind of attitude can make this kind of mistake. But since nobody brought it up to me, so i will close one eye and lalala~

And something terrible happened! I think HISTORY is going to repeat itself. This time, it is 2v?. Personally, i dont like this kind of thing to happen around me. It have affected us for maybe 2 yrs. And i thought this thing wont happen again. But I am starting to see shit unfolding itself right under my nose. I am going to have a headache again. And when it unfolds, I think I have to go against my nature, to F**K everyone upside down to the best of my ability to stop it. I never like people with higher IQ. Because IQ increase = EQ decrease. DAMN! I still believe in my generation concept where 12 years mark a new generation. And it starts with the Dragon or to say, it ends with the dragon. And each generation gets weaker and weaker. Why? Still prefer my batch. EQ is good, IQ is normal. The all rounder or average person that can be mould to perfection. Can call it "tabla rasa" in psychology, where everyone is born without evil thoughts or good thoughts. It is dependant on the enviroment and other factors. Try to link it. TRY! Haha..
Other than that, should be nothing to write for today. Btw, go visit xx and xlx blogs. Hell is starting again in the blog world or blogosphere. So just sit back and enjoy. See two person or more fighting should be quite fun. Just stand on the winning side. Lol!
Oh! and before i forget. i have been thinking about this too. I will name it exposure. Increase exposure leads to inferior quality? Decrease exposure lead to superior quality? Is it? Wondering! For now it is true. But hope it is not real.
Nitez PK!

and so He speaks

Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Twenty Seven Time

Did not really went sch today. 50/50. My class started at 8am. But since it is lecture till 11am. So i decided go sch at 10am. So when i reach YCK at around 9.50am, Sarah call me. Say going to K later, say meet at K box AMK. So that is why i said i only half half. SO i reach there quite early. Maybe around 10.10. So nothing to do, go play pool first. Then play around, then someone came in ask can join anot. So just join lor. So best 3. Of course i won..... Only 1 round. Haha.. He won 3. So I punch. Haha.. No tai ko is real hard to play. Anyway, he plays billard also, so his skill definitely better then mine. So just play for fun while waiting for the 4 girls. Then meet them 4 go K. The first warming up song is Hum Ga Leng by Chee Yan. I think she is the only person go K pick this song. Canto cant sing. Then second song by me. And it was hell. Haha.. One night in Beijing.. Sianz~ Havent even warmup need to sing so high. So = never sing well. Nvm la.. Still had fun in K. Disturbing their pitches, adding alot of "sound effects". Sang JJ song, but never sing so gay. I think best song i sang is An Jing. Because that is the finale song for the session. Jessica off form, the pitch too high, doesnt match our voices. Then Chee Yan still all right, normal. Sarah chinese too "good", haha.. Jieying rest and listen us sing more. Overall, still had alot of fun with them. But never sing Wo De Cuo, brings back memory because I was listening to it when i came home and got feel.

So after that, we went seoul garden bugis. Eat alot but not as much when with my judokas. Miss eating with them, but i know it is hard for the club to eat together again. Changes in 1 person bring about changes in the whole club. Shit Anthony. Then eat a few plates only la. Not much. But quite cheap la. 18 per person. Still all right compared to dinner time charge (20+++++++++++++++++++++++++++) Jessica the corn eater left first to go home take SHE cd to go marina square for the autograph session. What so good about them? Hehe.. Dont care. Jay still the best. Then we makan until around 4.30-4.45. Then went up Kino, they buy books. Then went to take neoprint, as always. Tradition liao lor. Always go out makan then take neoprint. But still no problem la. The pics quite nice. I am so photogenic. Haha... *Dont shake your head, AGREE to it..* Wahaha.. We try new machine. One is 10 and the other is 11 bucks. 11 bucks the pics more shiny, i think 1 dollar diff is because the shine la. Like matt and gloss. of course as usual, i dont participate in drawing or decorating. Because my art really bad. They give me the pen, then i dunno write what. So just give the girls draw lor. I just give comments. Wasted, Jessica never take with us. So i suggested to Sarah go scan the pics, then add jessica head somewhere to show that she is around. :P So evil. Then we went off liao, Sarah also go marina square, then chee yan and jieying went back home. Then i go buy PS2 game. Soulcalibur 3 and smackdown vs raw 06. SC3 damn hard to play. Diff moves, harder AI. Sianz~ But dont play alot nowdays, so just buy and put to collect some dust. Haha..

This is what i call friends in my class. Jieying, Sarah,Jessica,Chee Yan are my friends in NR0421. Fazael, Syakir, GuoHao my bastard friends.. Haha.. MeiTing also, she damn angry with me last few days, she dont like the words i use. Haha.. Let's see if there is anymore. Hmm~~~~~ Err~~~~~ Oh~~~~~ Not really. Yiying is my good friend during attachment, care and help for each other. But now.. Dunno how and what to say. So calculate got 8 friends in class. 8/27. Still ok. Dont need so many friends, scared bs and gb and dont wanna waste my time. Still go Yao zong and his GOOD classmates and other lecture mates who are quite normal. So it doesnt matter to me anymore. Learn to let live, dont impose my own thinking on people who cant be bothered to listen. *Superiority fills the air,SMELL IT?* Easy!

Tommorrow is PH, dunno to do what. But got birthday dinner at night for my grandmother. Afternoon maybe helping mint and pang do SJ stuff. Not confirm but dinner confirmed. Maybe go for coffee with Ong, Cliff and wei jian after my dinner. Haha.. Stuff to death and not starve to death.



ps. This is my blog. I have the right to say what i want. For those who i never invite to see or who doesnt have the right to see. You jolly well STFU and dont make noise. PERIOD~

and so He speaks

Monday, January 09, 2006
Twenty Six Time

一盘散沙敌不过强风的侵袭. 无水不集,风吹必解. 我愿当那飓风. 一敌众, 众必败.
My MSN nick. To describe NR0421 the loser class. Haha... Nothing special. Except taught Chen Yie immunity(B cells, T cells) just now. Haha.. My bio suddenly become so pro. Haha..

and so He speaks

Saturday, January 07, 2006
Twenty Five Time

Never go school today. Busy doing my notes for the cadets. Doing respiratory system with them tommorrow 7/1/06. Got 3 hrs to teach them everything or something about respiratory system. Quite hard for me to teach. I have to upgrade myself to a trainer's trainer when i am a trainee in NYP. Haha.. What a big leap! Well! It is possible, it takes a little more time when no one can guide you along as you learn. I need to die die understand the system. It is actually a commitment. i always believe that when you have a commitment to something, you can overcome shit and hell to do it. That's why I am an officer. A trainer of almost any teachable subject in SJ. There is no excuse that you have no time or your exam is coming or what so ever. The bottomline is, you have no capabilities. Then after that may need to help Ong with transportation but i think he and CK can handle. Then footdrill, should need to help Ah Leow. Then soccer, hope Shaful can make it la. Dont gabra up the only hour of training each week. Sometimes it takes a toll on yourself when you are superior, you can do anything, but you dont have the energy to do everything. Sianz~ Hope people can grow up and learn something by themselves. When too much shit accumalate somewhere, it will either explode or collapse no matter how strong the foundation. Hope this day dont happen, or else... My God know!
I really stand by the sentence i came up last month. "Change is a must and sacrifice is a requisite". This time round, i sacrificed my classmates, my relation with them, forgo the leadership in class. I did not want to get into class politics again, because like i said many times, they are not worth my time and effort. So i might as well leave them out in my care zone, and let them bite each other to death. Muahaha.. Fun to see a bunch of idiots and kids trying to outfight each other when both side are inferior piece of crap. Actually I wanted to put down Judo also, but after going for the training this wed. I decided to stay and get my green belt first, but not with the club president. He is old and cant see well, cant think well and obsessed/possesed/toyed/controlled by his gf. Nowdays i think i prefer to stand one side and laugh rather than being angry or churned into conflicts. It is not laugh, it is more of a mocking or aka "ke xiao". My blog have become more sarcastic and boastful these three entries, screwing everyone upside down, inside out. And putting myself on the matured and superior side of everthing. Not that i enjoy it, it is just that they "kiam meh", and i need to pour out from my vastless sea of thoughts.
Anyway, just came back from K-box with Cliff. Trained quite alot of songs, but mostly gay voiced like JJ song. SO hard because i am low singer. Still ok la. Then came one song which i like or hate the most "Wo De Cuo". Reminds me of something that i did that was wrong these 2 years. Then when i came online, the person whom i wanted to see appeared online. Is it coincidence? Or the things above playing a trick on me? Haha.. Pain! Can you feel it? Ok. Need to vet through the notes i prepare again before i sleep. Nitez blog~ Nitez to you too PK..

and so He speaks

Friday, January 06, 2006
Twenty Four Time

Was thinking about this. Why hate my classmates. Not worth it. Waste of my brain juice. Waste of my time. And worst of all, put myself into the same level as them. Dirtying myself i call it. So might as well leave them to die themselves. Wait for the undertaker to clear their carcass and await their descend to HELL! Evil is fun nowdays.

Went for judo yesterday, 4/1/06. After my three months of break from judo, i have a little fear in stepping into the dojo. I suddenly fear the throwing. But i cannot be so hum right. orange belt liao, going for my green this feb. Dont act like a loser. Haha. So just went in. Finish the warmup. But dunno why so breathless. My SpO2 is only 97%. Quite low, maybe i got COPD or some problems. Haha.. Dont care la. Then after warm up, did some Uchikomi left and right. Maybe about 100 times only. Quite little. Then after that, we played something like round robin. Where everybody will throw everybody once. So got around 20 ppl i guess, so at least kana thrown 40 times. Not that much also. But the problem was there was girls and smaller size guys around. So have no choice but to cooperate with them la. Help them life my own weight abit. BUT, only if they execute the move correctly and twist their hip hard enough, then i will lift myself off the tatami a little. Kana moves like Tai Otoshi, Ippon/Morote Seoi Nage, Osoto Gari, Yao Zong's Harai Goshi and Uchi Mata. Still not so bad. But feel alot of pain, because I "off season", so i jump here jump there hurting myself. But pain is quite nice actually. Haha.. Sadistic! Then i throw them with Harai Goshi, my favourite second to Osoto Gari. I find that my throw is better now compared to three months ago. Haha.. Dunno why. At least i throw with more ease now. My season may be off but my skill still there. So happy. Never fall down so much as compared to last time. Then after the two rounds, we rest awhile then continue with the open house demo. We had nothing on hand, because that bastard club president did not plan anything. So we have to do it ourself. The yellow belts of course do basic Ukemi(breakfall) and the orange belt do coordinated rolling breakfall. So hard to do. Everyone must fall and stand in one line. Then short ppl and tall ppl hard to coordinate lor, i need to stand further back and the shorter one need to jump further. Haha.. At least we still manage to get it right. Then before that actually still got do jumping one. That means got few ppl crotching then we do a rolling breakfall. Two person no problem for me, but still cannot do well for three person. Always miss slightly. Must get some weight off to fly further. But my jumping rolling lousy now, i fall but dont get up nicely. Making my hand and leg hurt. My back of the palm was swollen. My forearm and elbow was very pain. Haha.. Doing advanced stuff when my body is back to basic. Oh! And i will be getting my blue gi next week. Waiting and waiting. See me blue next time. I think will post my pics in white and blue gi next time when i get the blue gi. Pain is the word. But pain tells you that you are still alive.
Anyway, nothing special happened today. But yao zong was asking me why hate my whole class when only a few ppl suck. So i just said I am from SJ, a uniform group. "One for all, All for one". It will be me against my whole class, 1 vs 27. The adrenaline rush. Wahaha! Can you dig it! SUCKAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just want to talk about martial art thingy. Wanted to talk about it in yesterday entry, but my class and my club president spoil my mood completely. What a turn off! Start proper.

In martial art, one need to be discipline. The bowing, the way the person sit, the way the person execute the moves shows alot about the way he is trained. It is from the inner self, it somehow shows the inside of you. When you are not self discplined, the things that you do are medicore. A throw may not be graceful, a punch or a kick may seem flimsy. That is the importance of discipline in martial arts.
There is one thing that may not be so obvious to the eyes. It is the circle. In martial art, circle is important. Why? In judo, the way we execute a throw, for example a hip throw(Harai Goshi). One of the most important factor which makes it successful is the twisting of the hip. Once you break his balance to his front and load him to your hip, the twist of the hip will bring him flying over you and land perfectly in front of you. That is the use of circle in judo. Next example is the shoulder wheel(Kata Guruma) or layman term "fireman carry". In this throw, the tori(thrower) goes lower than the uke(being thrown) and grab him by his thigh and back of neck. Next the tori will stand up while lifting and transfering the uke from one side of the body to another side. Next the tori will push the uke off his shoulders and turn him in a half circle to make him land on the other side of his body. That is the wonder of circle in judo.
Next up is karate. Karate as layman sees will be like appearing on tv chopping wood planks to break world record. How can it be related to circle? First let's go to the thrust. The thrust may look simple, just throwing your whole hand in front of you. But the truth is, if the thrust is merely using your arm muscle, you can kill or injure no one. A thrust need to be accompanied by the turning of the hip. You swing your body back a little, then while throwing out your punch, you twist your hip to create more power. Next is the chop, where people will always see it as chopping up wooden planks la. Where does the power come from too? Just like in a thrust, merely using your arm muscle doesnt give you enough strength. It is the same as a thrust. Twist your shoulder back and then swing it down to create a good chop. That is the power of circle in karate.
Next up is taekwondo. Most of the work done is in kicking and little punching. A front kick is not merely throw your leg to the front. I am not too sure about this, but when i learn TKD 5 years ago, there will always be a so called preparation phase before the kick. You have to lift you leg up to from 90degree, then you kick your leg out.The swinging of the leg is actually a circle or a curve. Then the side kick. Almost similar to the front kick, raise your leg up 90 degree and then turn slightly to the side and swing your leg out. Side thrust same thing, except that it is a thrust action after you turn to your side. Then the back thrust. A loser TKD player or commoner will just raise their leg in front 90 degree and kick back. wrong! You need to raise your leg front 90 degree then thrust your leg while twisting your hip to make it a good one. Not sure if TKD include roundhouse kick, but it a rather powerful move that can break your neck or shoulder. Because of the turn of the hip and raising the leg 135 degree or more and swing it for half a round before hitting the foe. Dont play play.
Then boxing. Nothing special, same as karate style.
Next Aikido, the one martial art which i never seen it as a martial but rather an art. The reason being there is no competition and it is more of an acting class rather a martial art class in my poly. In this art, you can truly see the use of circling technique involved. Sometime in some shows you can see someone running towards another man. Then the other man will somehow grab the running guy by the neck area and arm and make the person turn a few circle before putting him on the floor. It can be done, but only by a real guru in Aikido. I see some of my poly acquaintence who formerly joined Aikido, they show me how to do it. Then i was thinking, what kind of shit they are doing. Because what they learn is to grab the person by the wrist area then twist it and make the person pain and put him down. Then i let my friend try grabbing my hand, mo matter how he turn my hand i still can counter him with an Osoto Gari. Haha.. So weak lor. Once i get into a close distance with an Aikido player, he is useless liao. Because he need momentum to create the wonderful throws and turns. if not, he is = nothing. What an art!
So you can see the power and magic of circle in martial art. And maybe the usage of the hip so to speak. So never see circle as 3.142 bla bla bla~~ anymore.



ps. See http://judoinfo.com/gokyo1.htm for more info about the judo throws mentioned above. See the power of Judo.

and so He speaks

Thursday, January 05, 2006
Twenty Three Time

Ok. Today i wanna talk about my weak judo club and my stupid classmates.
To start off with my classmates, what i can say is they are people who suffer from what i call Selfishness Disease and Rejuvenation Disease which makes them think like kids. First disease. Back to class today again. My suggestion to seperate the better group into two group fell on deaf year. Some history. This group is made up of two clique of friends. Yi ying, Qion Wen one clique, Mei Ting, Wanyi,Yuen Shuan one clique. They are the group which can stay on their own even if they are not in the same team. For qion wen group, she is the most efficient person in doing projects in the class. She can finish a project due only by 1 or 2 months later in a few days. So pro right. So that's why i said she can stand on her own with yi ying. And next group, mei ting group. They have always produce good projects in the class. So they are also a group which can stand on their own. And now the SHIT happens. This two efficient cliques want to grp together. You can see it as a good idea, pooling all the so called knowledgable ppl into one team to produce perfect works. But, they did not realise one thing. They are making life hard for me, and for guo hao and syakir. Joycelyn my mei(even though she is older haha), go itchy hand write out a group list. Then only she and the ppl sitting around her can choose what they want. Then they choose liao, then show me. Then i was thinking WTF they trying to do. They put me and two of my malay classmates together, with another of my china classmate. Then, they put guo hao who dont do work, li juan and liu yue who also dont do work with syakir. Now you see my point. You create a star group, then in order to create it you leave these two other groups to death. What are you trying to tell me? Your power overrule the leader(which is me) authority is it? I like to be nice to everyone. I dont like to hurt any of my classmates in any way. If my china friends need help i still have to help them, not only because of the responsibility of a leader, but as a human you will help. So i am never fierce to the my classmates, they request anything i just follow. eg. Ask me book extra clinical lab, i go book lor. Ask me find teachers i go find lor. Then what do I get now? They are stepping all over me. See me as a nice friendly giant who dont know how to argue. Right! I am nice, friendly and dont know how to argue. Because I dont like conflicts, dont wish anyone get hurt. So i always keep these shit problems to myself. There is a saying" Tiger dont make itself fierce, you will treat is as a sickly cat" So, I am OFFICIALLY telling my classmates now. If you want to disturb me anymore, you can. But you have to accept all responsibility for your action. I dunno what i will do, but i know i can do alot of things as stated in my previous previous blogs. Any way continue story.
Went to class to ask yiying to seperate their grp, to be fair to the china classmates and me, syakir and guohao. They talk about it a little during tutorial time. The conclusion: "Why not you break the other groups up, why must be my group" I see i see. So their Selfishness Disease is acting up. And their Rejuvenation Disease also. Their thinking is now = kids. "I dont want share my things with you" " I go tell my mummy beat you"*cry**cry* Now you see why i say Rejvenation Disease. So selfish, so childish. And worst of all, they are going to be future nurses. Imagine next time you go hospital, then you see them. Patient ask you nicely to help him buy something from the 24 hr shop downstairs, then the selfish disease act up."Buy for you for what, so heavy. I only care for myself. You go die" Then the rejuvenation disease act up."Why buy for you? Mummy say cannot talk to strangers" LOL!! See the quality of students some school are producing to be a professional.
Now i am feeling that they are pathetic people. They have no shame. No teamwork. Pathetic why? Because they dont think for others, think for themselves. Thinking = kid, not matured. What is the use of being a nurse want you dont have compassion and empathy? You might as well go engineering. Face the machine which have no feelings. Shame? They dont feel ashame of their behaviour, what they did or doing now is making life hard to everyone in the class. Even if they dont feel it, i also feel sorry for their parents. For having such children, who are rubbish and shit and pest to the family and school and society. Haiz~ Poor parents of theirs. Hope you all can live well with them for the rest of your remaining life. Muahahaha!!

For me now is very simple. I dont want to care for my classmates. You all are not worth my worry. So be it. Dont waste everyone time. I rather spend time with my corp then in this pathetic, lowly, disappointing class. At least my cadets are nicer kids than you all. Feel ashame of yourselves. Even my sec 2 who is 13 yr old knows how to care and share. You all? After 18 plus years of your life in this world, you cant even be compared to my sec 2. Not even their leg hair. You might as well go dig a hole hide yourself. Dont tell ppl you are my classmates or i know you. I will feel stupid and crude to acknowledge your belonging to this wonderful world. Waste of resources($, food,oxygen,water etc..) bringing you all up. Might as well give these luxuries to ppl in Utopia who are worth more than you all. Really pathetic ppl who shouldnt have appeared on the face of this earth.

Enough of these pathetic ppl whom i thought I called classmates. Next to my judo club. Why is it weak now? All because of the club president. He and his gf is now making the judo room like their house. Pillows, nice clock, alot of refreshments for themselves. And worst of all, they dont like us to be in the room. Why? Scared we dirty the room. *clap* for them. Send them for a brainwash pls to clean their shit accumalated in their head. My club president wasnt like that before he meet his gf who is also our senior brown belt. Last time he was nice but not so nice. We all know he is a boastful guy who likes to talk cock. So we just listen to him talk cock sometimes la. Last time we still can go out eat. Go Yuki Yaki, go Zhen Fa, then go out taunt whole night like crazy ppl. Those were the days.. Until his gf appeared. Me and yao zong feel that his gf is making use of him to control the club. I think the decorations all these is suggested by the gf. And he just follow, without asking the committe's opinion. So what if you president of the club, BIG ar~ You are just one asshole who like to blow your trumpet around the dojo and a pathetic person controlled by your gf without even knowing and believing it. Well~ Some history. My other judokas have seen his gf going out with other guys before even though they are together. It is normal and ok to do so. But, what if the guy holds your hand walk around and hug you by the waist. Is it normal? Do you call it incest or outrage of modesty? And worse, it is not only one guy they saw. It is two different guys. They got call him to tell him this when they saw it happen. His reactions was "Dont lie to me la, she say only go out, never hold hand or hug with him!" Do you see the point? Even before we told him, he knows they are going out. And the gf tells him that they wont hold hand when they are together! Isnt it obvious? She is admitting it herself. If you lie to your friend about something. eg. A accidentally broke B vase. Then A went off feeling guilty without telling B. Then when A suddenly sees B, he will so scared that he will tell B he did not break the vase even if B never ask him anything. Get the point!!
Normally last time when the president need to do some stuff during training time, he will pass the key to yao zong automatically to keep. Today, he need to take common test at 4pm. So yao zong as usual stick out his hand to take the keys. But Anthony(the president) pondered awhile, then tell his gf to lock the door after she left. See la.. Now got gf liao then your buddies/bros or ex bros(see how you want to see it) take key from you also cannot. And shoo us to the dojo because want to lock door liao. *CLAP* for Anthony. You have fallen in love................. in the wrong way.
Today also got rehearsal for the open house on Jan 19, 20, 21. One look you know it is the president's responsibility to gather everyone for meeting to discuss right. Wrong! He did not do anything. He never even prepare the scripts or event program. And it is only 2 weeks to the open house. Nothing is done. *CLAP* Luckily Ivan the government boy was there to help us coordinate. Then at 6.45 pm Anthony came back. Then got one sentence he said really piss yao zong off. he said,"This event let you all do, dont concern me. You need help then tell me." *CLAP* The words from our dear Anthony. A leader who dont do stuff = a figurehead = an asshole. So what i want to say is, my poly dont produce many good students. Even lousy ppl like him who went through army already can be president of the club. Really like my poly. I think I can even be the CEO of the poly now if this is the case. Haha!!

Suddenly I feel good to be evil. I did not realise that being someone bad is such a nice feeling. The evil aura is feeling me up. Mr Nice Guy no more for now. No wonder Ah Bengs so popular. But i wont stoop so low to be an Ah Beng. They are just kids and i repeat kids who like to form gang to scare ppl who are not so weak like them. Actually Ah Bengs are gu niangs who act like big shot. Haha!! Careful they take out their Super Soaker to shoot you then you know. And they come in gangs, dont get yourself wet. Shoot them back and they will go crying back to their mum."Got ppl bully*cry**cry*, cane them Mummy!" Haha.. I like being evil now. Enjoying every moment of my new aura. But it is temporary. I will be back to MR Nice Guy someday when i think i want. For now. Evil is my way of life.

and so He speaks

Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Twenty Two Time

Back to sch today. Lesson started at 1010. Lecture. See my classmates again. Alot got new hairdo. Some make the hair look like shit and i think they think it is nice. Haha.. This is my class. Full of morons and shit ppl. Dont like my class. The groups of ppl dont like each other. This grp dont like that grp, that grp dont like this grp. Sounds familiar. And the next thing they will say will be "I tell my mother". Haha.. Sometimes i think my classmates like kids. So old and childish. In my class only got two ppl smaller than me, the others all older. But i feel that they have lousy thinking skills. EQ low. Dont know how to communicate. I am tired of bringing them together. Loose sand are hard to hold together. I am tired of being the water to let them stick together. So i decided, they want to be childish, want to hate each other, want to kill each other, want to F**K each other upside down, inside out is their problem. I just do my own stuff. Complete my diploma and bye bye to NYP. Damn boring school. Holding on as the leader or chairperson of my class for 1.5 yrs. Trying to bring everyone together for 1.5 yrs. Tired of it lor.. Come to think of it. How will you think if you are smarter than another older person. In the sense that you can think better, better EQ. I will think my classmates are pathetic ppl, should be ashame of themselves. Need someone younger to teach them how to have teamwork. Sianz of them la.
So i decided to put down my role as a chairperson. i dont care who wanna be next, i just dont want to interfere with class politics. They die, they die. But i know that they die , I wont die. Easy, case close. First step to becoming a ruthless hard hearted person. Dont wanna be too nice to them. Let them step all over me. It is just that i dont want to get angry, make situation ugly. And i havent been real angry before, so dunno what will happen. So like i said in dunno which entry, dont provoke me anyhow. I can hurt you to no return. Broken hand? Broken leg? Broken jaw? No problem. Give me 2 seconds and your wish will be fulfilled.

Continue. After lecture, go FJ eat meal 2 aka chicken terriyaki don. Steal Fazael laksa gravy. Then after that, went to AMK with guo hao. Wa lao.. NYP can really be crowned "Singapore No 1 Boring School". Even the nearest LAN shop is so far lor. Even though NYP is Ave 3 and the LAN is at Ave 6. We take bus then walk dunno how long to get there. So lousy sia. No wonder i feel no belonging to NYP. KSS still better. Love my corp. Then play DOTA and CS for 1 hr 30 min like that. Then went back sch for clinical lab. Then end at 4pm. Go north canteen drink kopi teh with fazael, syakir and guo hao. Then 5-7 pm lecture. Went home with yao zong and wan shi. Then reach home 7.30pm. On com. Then this is when shit came flying everywhere.

Talk to May, she ask me about medication stuff. Then told her side effects all this lor. Then she was like hiding some stuff and complaining some stuff. Dont want to elaborate. Just that i trying to be nice to my cadets and teaching them some life skills. Hope they can appreciate. So what if I am 18 only. Doesnt mean that i suck in life right. I definitely seen more things than alot of ppl. Achieve more things. Moreover I am studying nursing, what I see of human nature is more. If anyone who wanna F**K me upside down, make sure you have better achievement then me, seen more of human nature than me. So if not, pls STFU, if not go buy a dildo and play yourself. Refering to my classmates too.

Let me think of a nice way to put it. Making yourself Missing In Action(MIA) doesnt mean you are great. Not everyone is indispensable in the another world. That include you. Me too. If one day I go missing, the another world can still run, but not so efficiently. Need time to patch back the wound. So i repeat, never look yourself to be so good. I know all the skills teachable in the another world little bit better. So what? I still need to do everything by myself. No point in this unless you can see the deeper meaning which I doubt no one can.

Next, let me think again. A cat and a dog fight. Surely got one will get injured. Why not the cat and dog befriend each other to forge a better future for other cats and dogs.. Funny! To me, it is like children fight. "I tell my mother" again. WTF! Cat and dog can be nice to each other. Cat feel dog urinate at her terrritory, dog feel cat done nothing to claim that it is its territory. So?? Cat can urinate back and bla bla bla~ Fight to their death la. I will be the last man standing laughing.

Next, a dog and a cat works in the same territory. Dunno why one day the dog get angry, because cat never tell dog that he is the boss of this mini section of the territory. So dog not happy. Dunno why too. Then cat was thinking that she shouldnt have use the purr purr service which cost meso to inform dog. Complaining dog see itself big, but no skill. Worse. Dog and cat are related. Makes it looks bad. Well! I think enough of the cat and dog story. Why is human considered a superior race, because they have the ability to tame their beastly side which cant think properly. So conclusion, cat and dog have the ability to become human, just that IT want anot.

Anyway, CS leaving on Friday. My best partner leaving. So sad. Can he be replaced? Well~ Time will speak for itself. For now! Good nitez, have fun thinking about cats and dogs story.


ps. No wonder cats and dogs means downpour!

and so He speaks

The Chosen

What is thinking?
What is thinking about thinking?
Who knows how thinking work?
Who knows how human brain think?
Why does people believe in God?

Why does people not believe in God?
THINKING is a way to get solution?
THINKING is a way to be mislead?
Thinking can bring you to Ultimate Ownage or Fallen Despair!
Think, Think ,Think Only the Chosen can solve these Questions

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