The Next Big Thing
LimBei is my nick
KLKX is my name
design'by- *blackraeyn;
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Wake up 10am. Actually set alarm at 8am, but overslept again. Meet yao zong at CCK to go NYP at 11am. He late abit around 1120. Meet wan shi at woodlands. Go mac, saw yz classmates. Then go dojo. Went outside to talk with huishan and yz. This meeting was about the thoughts of the yellow belts about the basket. Then went in dojo talk more. Then some went off. Then jess came. Then re talk again. Until around 5pm++. Then came up with a list of things to amend/clarify.
The committe dysfunction in the sense that the authority lies in the hand of a single person. Another case of a person who always thinks that he is right all the time. Another case of brainwasher. He thought that he was well liked by his juniors, but in fact he is not. He who set the rule break the rule. One good phrase" His ego is even bigger than his balls" Haha.. Then add one more phrase "If he had one in the first place". Muahahahaha!! It looks like history is repeating itself again. The previous batch also like that. The I/C was literally FORCED to step down through boycott. We did not really like the idea but something must be done. Dont know if we are gonna use the same plan again. If we are, this will be the 3rd FORCED stepping down i am gonna witness. Haha.. Alot more to write, but lazy to write down also.
Continue. After the meeting, me go somerset. Meet chee yan, sarah, guo hao, jieying for dinner at sakura. And the best thing was, sarah brought her sis along. SERENA SERENA SERENA SERENA SERENA SERENA SERENA SERENA SERENA SERENA SERENA
Hehe.. Wahahaha!! Then go sakura makan. The food quite okok only. Variety acceptable, but pariss got lots more. I think i like the unagi and the green tea. The sashimi still ok. The worst is the teppanyaki thing. The salt like no need money lor. Exactly like the fries in NYP's mac. Damn salty lor.. I think like that eat will kana kidney problem someday. The cheese sauce was good. Overall still good. The people you eating with is very important.. Get it?? Hehe.. Lalala~ Then we go HMV, go take neoprint(again). Nice pics. Because got me inside. :P But got one pic so near then never choose that.. Haiz~ Lol! Then go kino, they go buy comics. Then we went home. *sob**sob* -_-
Wed
Wake up at 9am. Wanted to study for fri exam, but no mood lei. Just read one chapter then rest liao. The song Kiss Goodbye is getting nicer and nicer. The aura is so strong. Going for judo training later. I think got the green belt grading training. This time must go. Because that bastard threatened to kick anyone who have poor attendance during grading trainings. Sianz~ Dunno is he say one or is the sensei say de. I believe he likes to put words in other's mouth. White,yellow,orange,green,blue,brown,black. Nearer and nearer to that black. Hope can get la, but i know it is very very hard. Judo black belt is hard to get compared to some other martial art. Not like TKD one, do useless things to can get black. Today also got training at KSS, cant go le.. Haiz~ Fri also cannot go, got exam. So waiting for this sat soccer comp.
Dunno is it my misconception, but i think i found out alot of things these three months. Scary though. Does it pay to be intelligent?
and so He speaks
Monday, March 27, 2006
Sun
Wanted to wake up at 8 but sleep till 10am. Then watch melbourne 2006 awhile, then go makan brunch with my mother. Was discussing about the players from singapore. Then it is very clear that there were alot of china ppl in the sg team. So what is there to be proud of for sg when all the players are not borned, raised or trained locally? You look at a china woman win a gold medal for sg, you think you are proud? Come on.. I think the china national will be even more proud of themselves for having such outstanding athletes from their country. Isnt it exactly like you feel hungry so you ask other ppl to eat for you? You think you will feel full? Dumb isnt it? The world is strange.
Wanted to buy ankle weight. Then the RSH one only 1 pound each, to me = feather weight. So i think wanna go jurong point buy. Tsoon one is 2kg each. Maybe can get that, or maybe heavier one. Need to start early. If i am still in judo, IVP 07 will be a hard one. Second reason for getting additional weights is because i am getting into phase 3 and 4 of my theory of planned behaviour. Brock Lesnar Here I Come!! The Next Big Thing Too!
Meet the kopi gang without wei jian and jing chi. Play pool awhile. Then go makan abit. Talk and talk. Then walk home.
Mon
Wake up at 9 am like that. Felt like exercising once i wake up. So i get changed then walked downstairs then get mentally prepared to walk up. Actually i was thinking of walking normally up the first 8 floors then chiong up on the last 8. I timed myself also. Then walk up to 8 floor, the timing was 1"22.35, Then wanted to chiong up the rest. But my leg was so sour liao. Only chiong up two levels, then cannot le.. So continue walking up. So total time taken to climb 16 floor now is 3"05.67. Funny, the last 8 floors should be faster, but i took 1"43 to walk up. Haha.. Will get better.. My next short term goal will be 3min. Then slowly cut down. Exercising is good! Big size doesnt mean weak physically. Looking for challenger to sprint short dist. Haha.. I am confident. Criteria: No footwear.
Meet cliff and gf for k lunch. Sing alot of songs. Need alot of warm up though. Then left them go KSS for FD training. Drizzling, so train at classroom block. Then they wanted to go out to train awhile also. Not many ppl came, some got prize presentation rehearsal and other things. Then they were playing with water (yet again???), i think i got kind of F**KED UP!! But lucky is for awhile only.. Or else, who knows what will happen.. Maybe put it this way, crossing over boundaries is a risky thing. Then went back with my "gf"(Did i say gf?). Haha.. Send her home.. She asked me about PK. Then she ask alot of questions bla bla bla~ Anyway, not gf la.. Just playing la.. :P
Then it was near dinner time, i didnt hear my mother to ask me to keep the clothings. Then my father went, then came to my room and GRUMBLE/SCOLD LOUDLY.. I was pissed by him too.. Come on la.. Keep a few clothes wont kill right. WTF lor!! He is one of the kind of person i hate. Might as well list out some hateful behaviours here.. 1. Talk and dont do work. 2. Treat a minute contribution as something big and keep ranting about it. For now only these two. Many more to come someday.. He is classed 2nd. That's why i dont really like my father. Haiz~
I think someone not happy with me. On MSN just now she was using capital letters. And the thing she said seems like she is very pissed by something. So nvm! Wait till she cool down, then can slowly tell me. I have become a venting machine. Hehe.. Lucky i dont get angry easily. Soccer comp on april 1st and FDC on april 8th. Exam from 31 march - 7 april.
In this world, there must be bad ppl to distinguish the great works of good ppl? Or. In this world, there must be good ppl to isolate the lousy works of bad ppl? Same same la.. Nobody can always stay in the good side and nobody will always stay in the bad side. Someday and somehow, a good person will be a bad person and vice versa. Many decisions are not so called fair. But who can define fair? Fair is what? In nursing, two beliefs: 1. To benefit the person as much as possible or 2. To cost as little damage as possible to the person. So apply this theory to an organisation. And the truth will emerge.
Is there something in the world called Replacement?
Nitez to you~
and so He speaks
I believe the only reason that the club close will be the fact that this two irritating assholes is trying to close it. Never win gold medal not happy, so wanna disband. F**K his mother, father, grandmother, grandfather and his 18 generation of ancestor man!! Dig up all their graves and let them see what their great great great bla bla bla grand son is doing. Jesus! Holy shit! May God blast you! Haiz~
This two piece of shit disrupted me.. Damn!
Nitez to you~
and so He speaks
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Then release the sec 1 at 1230. Go limbang makan. Sat at mac with the kids. Dont feel like eating, go ntuc buy green tea then see them eat. Waited for their ice. Wait until neck can drop. That rach so clever throw fries inside the ice. Haha.. :P Went back training. Changed position for our FDC march in. And before they started their march, told them good news. FDC will be held in KSS. They were so happy. It was another morale booster. Home advantage. So they trained very happily. Miss Ratna judged them when they are doing their final sequence. Then had debrief. Good performance overall. For my part, i think still got some part really need standardization to make it look nicer. And before i forget. If you are no good, you have no right to tell the person who is better than you that they suck. Because you will be making a fool out of your pathetic self and cause disharmony in the contingent. Continue. So after the debrief, told everyone to train with full u next training onwards. to get use to the feeling. Then last parade then dismiss. Take ah leow car go lot 1 alight. Go sweet talk buy danish kaya and then red tea ice blended for wei shan as requested since days ago. Haha.. Walk to her house with jerilyn. Give le then walk home. Reach home, msn awhile then sleep. Then wake up, go makan with my mother and auntie at sunshine place. Actually wanted to meet up with the kopi gang, but cliff and bra sick. So we postpone lor. Went home. Feeling DAMN bored.
Chat with yan hsiang. Then chat until she cry.. Hehe.. Then talk to her about if she wants to come back. Then i told her the quantity and quality thingy. How i pull through this two years.. And i emphasize that i want quality ppl. Then post her some questions. 1. What is your worth in the corp? 2. If you not worth, how can you make yourself to be quality person? 3. Are you willing to change for the better if you think you are not good enough?
Then she say that "my bro told me that the only real things that last happen when u do it becoz u truly want to..and not becoz of someone else". I did not answer directly. I just ask three more questions. 1. What is real? What is fake? 2. What you think is real? What you think is fake? 3. People lives their live for something, parents, friends etc.. So what you wanna live your life for? This three she dont need to reply me, just slowly find the answer herself. So i told her again. Metacognition.
Today i go for a night walk again. Decided to walk yew tee. Walk to KSS first. Reminds me of the days when I go for NDP. When the trainings end, reach sch is around 8-9pm +++++. Then also reminded of the mid autumn festival celebration in 2002 with my favourite sec sch teacher Mr Cheng Tee Tong. He is the only teacher i really like in my sec sch life. His lesson wasnt boring. Still remembered that he gave each of the girls in the chinese class a sun flower on valentine day in 2003. This shows how nice he was. Actually he was a trainee teacher in 01. He also took our class. i think he really enjoyed being with us as much as we enjoyed being with him. So when he became a full time teacher, he came back to KSS. I think his only reason for coming back is my batch. Heard from other class that he taught that he no good etc.. Maybe because he little strict. After we graduated in 2003, i think he lost his motivation in the sch. When i see him in sch after i graduated, he dont look happy. He always looks haggard and stern looking. The more i look at him, the worst he looks. When someone have no motivation in something, he will have a hard time carrying on his work. After teaching for 5 years in KSS, he decided to switch sch. Given his qualification, he does not need to humble himself to teach in a sec sch. He was the top student in his course and had distinction for his final year essay. So he can go any sch in sg to teach. Now that he has left, hope that he is happier. Haiz~
Back. Then i walk to yew tee through the laksa sch. Saw liao's house. Then walk to jun jie house blk 682. Then walk to yan hsiang house that side. i think i kind of lost around there. Because i never walk the inside before also. Walk to the big canal dividing residential and industrial area. Believe me. It is not a nice feeling to walk there alone at night. Imagine looking at a big canal, then you look to your left and right and see that no one is around, and the place is dimly litted. How eerie can that get.. Haha.. Then walk to yh house, then from there walk to christine house. Then walk to kranji pri sch where "I not stupid too" is filmed. Just want to double confirm is it that sch anot. Because from the film i recgonize the building to the front of the sch. Then walk to CCK stadium. From there walk the usual route when i go gym or swim. I rewalk the dec 04 road. Did not really invoke alot of memories. Then went home.
Second edit here.. i spent around 2hr 50 min walking from my house to yew tee then back again. i wanted it to be another of my thinking walks just like that time i spent 7 hrs roaming bukit panjang area. But, did not really suceed in thinking. Because I WAS NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE ROADS. Haha.. Instead of spending time thinking of problems that need to be solved, most of the time i was thinking how to get out of that place. The dec 04 road is a unique road. But it somehow lost its value. It is just now a small part of my memory.
I was happy after the training, i was proud before i went for the walk and i was more affirmative of some decisions. To have so many feelings in just one day.. Haha..
Actually while talking and after talking to yan hsiang i feel more proud of myself. I was looking back at the things i have done for the past two years. I can say that I did not failed the OTC's motto "Lead With Honour". Honour too big a word, maybe use glory. Or maybe heart. If you got yong xin in being with them, i think that will be a great satisfaction itself. All the other awards will be secondary. The simple things in life gives you more satisfaction then power and fame and wealth. Dunno why ppl dont understand this point. Simplicity vs complexity.
Posing a few questions.. 1. What is right/wrong? Who determine what is right/wrong? If not, 2. What is socially right/wrong? Who determine what is socially right/wrong? 3. Are terrorists bad ppl who stands by their belief and do the wrong things? Or are they standing by their belief and doing things that are not socially acceptable? Think!!
A crazy question: A civilian killing a murderer is right or wrong? Wont that be saving many others? But what if the civilian did not kill the murderer? Wont there be even more deaths? So is the civilian a murderer? Or is the civilian a hero? Does the civilian who killed a murderer constitutes to a murder? Or maybe manslaughter? Or maybe taken as not guilty? So is it right or wrong? Or is it morally right or wrong? Is it socially right or wrong?
Late le.. Wanna sleep..
Nitez to you~
and so He speaks
Friday, March 24, 2006
Went sch at 12pm. Only got one bio practical lesson. Should end at 1400pm. But i think the whole class very sianz.. So the teacher let us off earlier. I think she also not happy, we so unresponsive. All eager to leave as it is the last official lesson for everyone this sem. Come to think of it, if it was the last lesson of the final yr final sem, i think everyone will hope that time stays at that moment. As after that lesson, we will not be classmates anymore. That also means the end of our 3 yrs relationship as classmates. So i think next sem onwards should start to appreciate everyone in the class, as our time together is getting shorter. Hope so la.. Then after that, go makan with joycelyn, liwen and guo hao. We go yuki yaki at cineleisure. The girls wanted to take cab down.. Wow!!! Anyway, it is around $2 per person. So still all right. $18.90 per person with ice cream. Eat with them is diff from eating with my judoka. The portion smaller, more noobness.. Haha.. Had fun eating, and the oil was splattering around. Then we play zhong ji mi ma. The nice scrambled egg that i cooked was used as punishment.. zzzz... But they later on add chilli, garlic etc... Then later on go eat ice cream. Quite nice also. Best is honeydew. Then left at 5pm like that. Then joycelyn took cab to work, then liwen go play pool with bf. Then me go take mrt with guohao. Went home rest.. Got leadership test on fri, but dont feel like studying. Went mint downstairs to pass her something to give miss tan. Talk to ong on the phone for 1 hr discussing some problems. Sleep early around 11.45. Happy!!
Fri
Wanted to wake up at 8am. But got up at 10am. And worst/best.. I have a dream. It was so real. i thought i could see the faces.. The brain is a marvellous machine where any scenario can take place in the dream. It is so real. Should stop thinking about it for awhile.. Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Study the leadership notes. Discovered that i only have 4/7 notes. So i means i have to go sch earlier to borrow. So went at 1330. Took notes from syakir, study abit. Then went up. Then after a long wait, we discovered that it is at 3pm. So go eplaza slack around. 3pm went back. Then wait again. Then the teacher msg to say that it starts at 4pm.. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then we very TL!!!!!!!!! But for the sake of that pathetic paper, just wait lor. Went mac, eat hamburer. Eat ice cream. Then test started at 4pm. zzz... Wait until wanna die liao.. The MCQ was hard. But the SAQ even harder.. SAQ 20 marks and i let go of 10 marks. I never study that notes, so dunno anything about that. So there goes my 10 marks.. And i think i am gonna fail this module. The first module that i am confident of failing.. Haiz~ There goes an E or a F in my records. Nvm.. Elective module only.. Not that serious.. Dont need to repeat it.. Lucky.. Then went home.. Blood was boiling today.. The frequent blood boiling sensation i get every week at this particular day.. Now i see why i age faster than everyone else of my age and why i am having higher blood pressure. Vomit blood.. Then settling trainings with the NCC, then talking to joyce on MSN. That's all..
Really got alot of things to say.. But alot of factors are making me think late till the night. Haiz~ That's why i always say. The air at the bottom is pure and innocent while the air on top is toxic and complex. -_- Haiz~ But anyway, I am happy today..
Nitez to you~
ps. Simple gestures can make a person's day unknowingly!
and so He speaks
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Need to decide on the 8 person that we gonna send for NDP by nextweek because zone meeting on thurs. I think i got ppl in mind le.. So i can either choose ppl who are not that gd or ppl who are better in FD. And how many sec 2 and 3 i am gonna distirbute. Hehe.. For me to know, and for anyone to find out. Wahaha!! Anyway, someone already know my decision. Secret!! Shh!!
Yesterday i saw something. And my first thought was "Man!! This is mine".. Dunno why will have this thought. But this is the first time that it is happening.. Never in my 18 yrs of life i can get interested in something just by one look. However, things are not that simple.. I want it, but it is not morally right. Maybe even not socially acceptable. So now i have to fight against two waves of thinking again.. As always.. Haiz~ While i alight from ah leow car and walk home, i was thinking about it. Then i keep punching the wall while i walk to distract me.. Yesterday i was really clenching my fist and contracting my muscles to stop myself from thinking.. That is how powerful this thought is. Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dunno how also..
I think I really got alot of things to say.. But i damn tired nowdays.. How.. Haiz~ Still got some documents undone, and some problems for me to think*2. Choose your attitude..
Very happy today!! :) Hope can be happy everyday!!
Nitez to you~
and so He speaks
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Sat
Went KSS for training at 8am. Had FAC training. Me going through some nursing stuff with them. Then got celebration for march babies and ah leow. The previous day the cake committe went laura house to bake cake. Got two cake.. Quite nice.. Especially the one with alot of chocolate. Even though i dont like chocolate, but that was nice. Then we were playing water bomb. Haha.. Was so fun. My evading skill getting better. jieting beside me throw three water bomb at me and still miss. Haha.. Then when i was holding the pail, i catch some water bomb thrown at me. That was so fun.. Skill too.. :P Then ong was using water hose to spray. Today is a real wet day. Then everyone went to change. Then go for short lunch. Then came back for soccer training. Playing passing and stopping ball with them. Who knows 4.30 like that start to rain. Then all go back SJ room. Then started spring cleaning. ong was leading almost everyone cleaning the room. Throw this throw that.. Then i went off first.. My father came to pick me up to go for my family chalet at Changi. That was the place where my family had chalet 11 years ago. Haha.. So long liao lor.. Then saw almost everyone there.. Then started to start the bbq pit with my cousin dennis and my uncle. Then while making pit, my uncle was talking about his past as NS man. He from guards.. The best team of the army. He say training damn tough. Other ppl wear pt kit run, they wear half u run. Then bla bla bla ~~ Then pit up le.. Then started bbqing. Quite fun. I always like to bbq. Very fun.. Then after 1 hr plus of bbq. Go in makan. Then slack around. Because very tired. Then my auntie was asking me where i am going tomorrow. Then i said SMU. Then she say why not go her house stay since she stay at bugis area. Very near SMU. 5-10 min bus ride only. Then bathe first then went over. And my cousin wei zhong brought a (girl)friend along to the chalet. He say not gf but we suspect la.. Then took cab back to auntie house. Then slept at 1145 like that. My auntie was saying if the air con was too cold can adjust. Then i was lowering it to 20 instead of 24, then still on fan. And took of my shirt to sleep. Haha..
Sun
Wake up 6.15am. Wash face, brush teeth using hand. Then my auntie wake up at 6.30. Make coffee and half boil egg for me. That is very nice of her.. Then bandage my fingers then pack bag. left her house at 7.00am. Took 857 to city hall mrt to meet with them. Then we walk to SMU. Then we got our jackets. Very nice. With our club logo infront. Then went for weigh in. SMU very nice. Fully air conditioned. Then saw the national team player Cheryl Goh. She is a friendly person given her status as national player. She was at the weigh in. She ask me stand on the scale. Then i look at the scale. Max is 110. Then i tell her cannot. Then went up. Then she was little shocked. Then she said ok ok, can go in now.. Haha.. NYP send the most ppl. It looks like we are the largest judo club now in singapore. Waited for my bout, at 39. Then saw others play, some was quite skilled. But the referees were noobs. Not as kayu as last year but indecisive. Need to pause the game to make decision with the side referees. When my bout was nearing, was very nervous. Did my warmup, carried sumiwako run around. I think that is the easiest way to get pumped up. Then did some uchikomi. Then at last my bout came. Me vs yao zong. I wasnt aggressive when the match start. He tried to attack. Then i was looking for the chance to counter. Then i kana one penalty. Then the second time he attacked, he miss and fell to the ground. I follow suit and went on top of him. My hand was at his throat area, so i used choke. Managed to choke him. He tapped once and i release abit and look at the referee but referee didnt see. Then i choke again. Then he tap again. So i won that match by a choke. Winnig that match means at least a silver in my pocket. Then lunch after bout 60 finish. Go eat zinger meal. Then got ready for my bout. Ay deng won anthony. So that makes me vs aydeng for gold. Started the match. Little more aggressive. Tried to attack with osoto gari. Then he tried i tried, then he use sweep my left leg. Dunno why, i kneel down after that sweep. That was his chance my mistake. He press me down. I struggled to get out of the dojo. I swear that i used more strength then ever to get out of his hold. In normal training, i hardly even move him when he holds me down. The others were saying that i was almost reaching the outside le. Then the horn came. 25 seconds passed. He won the gold. Haiz~ Failed to get the gold. So have to make do with the silver. Dunno why la.. Before that match he was telling me he got more reasons to get that gold medal. He was doing it for his gf. It was his last year in NYP and he wanted to show his gf something. Dunno if that affected my morale or not la.. Actually the previous night i did think of who i was fighting the match for. It was you. But that wasnt a very big motivation for me. Because..... Nvm.. Back.. Played in the team event also. Vs SMU. That is one star team. Cheryl Goh and the other black belt guy. I vs that black belt guy. That guy is really good. He controlled me the whole match. Hardly anyone in my club can control me around. Then i think he was using left side also. i havent even got the chance to attack. Then he threw me. First was a sweep, never got me. Then second i think is tai otoshi. But he did not get a full point. He got half point. Then the last throw he use was a sweep. Also a half point. Then he won that match. Even though i lost, but quite happy also. At least he did not get an ippon from me.. Haha.. Our team lost, won two match out of five. But is good liao lor. Then anthony and the brown belts fight all the way to final. They vs NUS. They lost la. But nvm. At least silver. Then end of the comp. Prize presentation. We got 5 gold, alot of silver, some bronze. I think the other varsity must be astonished. As they keep hearing NYP name being read out. I think this comp showed everyone that NYP is a new force not to be reckoned with. And the medal count is the highest ever since the start of the club. Our old old first or second batch senior ling fong was very please with the results also. Then took alot of pics. Then we went for tea reception. Then got a new NYP judo scandal.. Haha.. Then we decided to go zhen fa celebrate. Around 22 went. Some never makan go play arcade. Did not eat alot, i think my sympathetic nervous system still working.. Haha.. Then went arcade play CS. Fun.. Then went home. The bus was damn packed. Reach home, mother sleeping. No one to share the joy of silver with me. Haiz~ Sianz~
Mon
Go sch at 8am. So tired. Lecture till 11am. Then national education change to 1-2pm. Then went home. Still very tired after the past two days. Go home, sleep. Then meet mother for dinner. Some kind of celebration with her la. Then went home. Then study for my psycho test on tues. Tried to remember everything la.. Then sleep time.
Tues
Go sch at 10am. The test at 10am. Study on train also. Then manage to finish the paper. Dont really have confidence of passing the paper. Then 11am got 36 lecture. The lecturer was giving so called tips. Then when she was about to finish the lecture, she said actually for MCQ everything will come out. Then the whole lecture was like WTH... Might as well dont talk.. Then the lecturer was asking if we can proceed with the lecture, then the whole lecture said NO!!! Haha.. Went home at 12pm. Go NTUC buy stuff. Cook spagetthi. long time never cook le.. Went home cook. Made the kitchen so oily. Haha.. Realised that my house dont have the spagetthi tomato sauce le. So no choice. use black pepper sauce. Quite nice la.. And i use red wine for the mushroom and minced meat also. Hehe.. Very full. Then went on net. Settled my deal with someone. Then sleep again. Still very tired. Wake up. Eat dinner. Watch tv. Settled sat's training. And discussing something big now.. Lalala~
Got alot more things to write actually. But brain juice limited.. Break time while the discussion is on.
Nitez to you~
and so He speaks
Friday, March 17, 2006
Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a scar on my face... Sianzzz.. Judo training kana the fire extinguisher box. And it is 7 cm long.. Wa lau.. And i almost break the nose bridge. Lucky the impact not too big. Or else, you can find me in hospital liao. Quite pain. Then got blood. Little bit only. After my face kana the box, my nose was so numb and pain. Then tears started to flow down. Not crying but it just flow down, maybe the impact kana the tear gland. Then continue training.. Injured my right ring finger also. kana pulled, the maybe the joint affected. Nothing serious, but must bandage up for the comp.
In the early afternoon went downstair play basketball. Found out that my 3 pointer not bad. Quite accurate. Haha.. Then went for leadership at 4pm. Watch a video on a topic called FISH. Haha.. Sounds funny but very useful. Heard that CEOs also watch and learn from this video because it teaches how a team works through fishmongers. Dont wanna elaborate it now. Just 4 keywords. Play , Make their day, Be there, and most importantly Choose your attitude. I think the answer is here.
Btw, wont be around for two days. Sat training liao straight away go my family chalet. Then sunday got comp.
Nitez to you~
and so He speaks
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Remember that just now in LJS, mah was saying about getting marksman in the army. He said got 32 shoots. Then i was hoping i can get marksman. But he said that 32 shots, 16 day shoots and 16 night shoots. Then i was like WT.. Maybe i got Nyctalopia aka night blindness, because i cant see well in the dark. So even if i can get 16/16 for day shoot, but there goes my night shoot. Haiz~ What a waste of my accuracy. Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Time crisis 2, here i come..
Then go see blogs. Then saw chenyie one. Then saw one line very familiar. Think about thinking. Haha.. That was what i told her about months months ago. Saw something meaningful from her entry. I also read it from one of the buddhist book i have at home. It says that your best teacher is actually your enemy/the person you hate. Because from there, you start to learn how to forgive and forget. That is what the book says.. Maybe it is true. Who knows..
Someone made a comment that NYP judo club sucks. Hmm~ Not a nice comment indeed. It is not that the club sucks. It is some of the ppl inside which sucks. So i dont think anyone have the right to say the whole club sucks. It is better to point to a particular person rather than a whole group. Remember how the muslim community reacted when the world deem them as terrorists. That is what can happen. And anyway, i believe that if you are not that great or dont excel in something, jolly well keep your mouth shut. Haha.. It is like you ask a sec 1 to grade a sec 4 for first aid. Which is simply impossible. So it is better to not make so much comment if you are not that great. Code from my beloved ex KSS principal "Empty vessels makes the most noise" Not to screw that person but one must know that the truth hurts.
Latest things.. da3rlong93@hotmail.com Anyone who knows this piece of shit, kindly tell me. I dont think IT have any parents to guide it. And i dont feel that this kind of shit can exist in this world. He added some of my kids on MSN and started insulting them. I dont feel it is right. SO if anyone know who this idiot/moron/bastard/bitch/holy shit/jabrooni/MF/FF, kindly tell me.. Then i shall decide what to do or what the victim should do. Thanks..
Nitez to you~
and so He speaks
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Went sch at 11 for lecture. Then 12 got fazael grp got psycho presentation. Their grp (Pamela, zahidah,fadillah,nicole) presentation is getting worse. Their choice of audio visual aids are getting like shit. Using styrofoam board and the words are rather illegible. They were the better group last three semesters, producing above average quality presentation every ICA. But this semester, they are getting lousier. That avian flu presentation they did also suck. This psycho presentation also suck. They always depend on pam to talk their way out because her arguing skill better. That's why they are weaker and weaker. They are no more the better group. Yi ying grp is now best grp. They are now at the bottom few. Sad case. Then got break till 4pm. Go library watch movie. Then have bio tutorial. And so lucky, we got that ass lecturer with the ugly wavy hair, pathetic spectacles and a prosthetic dick. He was going through the tutorial, then he came over to me and ask me where is my book. I dont normally bring books to sch, bring already also never use, my listening is better. Then i just tell him i never bring lor. Then he turn around, then tell the class that next time his tutorial, if anyone never bring book can get out of the class. Wow!! Yet again.. He is abusing his power as a lecturer. Who the hell he think he is again? There is no such rule in the sch that says student who never bring book to class cannot attend class. To think that he graduated from Uni, and still using the pri,sec way of teaching. Shame on him. And his father, his mother, his uncle, his auntie, his grandmother, his grandfather, his great grandfather, his great grandmother and 18 generations of his ancestors.... Come on la.. This is a poly. We are no kid anymore.. If you like to abuse power, go teach in uniformed sch. Poly = No Rulez!! Cant he get this simple idea into his thick shit head. Not everyone study in the same, some need to copy notes like siao, and some can just listen and the thing stay there. I can listen and then go home read my textbook and still remember it lor.. I not STUPID!! How i wish i can get infront of his F**KING face and tell him i got a B for my bio prac even without going for lectures. I think he will be so shocked that his ugly wavy hair will auto spike on its own, his pathetic spectacles frame will break and his prosthetic dick will fall off and his urine splash all over the class. Muahahaha!! Yucks!!! He just dont see that not everyone study like him, need to attend every lecture to pass his exam. I am different. I am not a typical student. What i have is intelligence! Not like that ass who have nothing but shit coming out from his mouth. Talk about him will vomit blood. But i feel happy making him angry. Because he is the one who need to change if he wants to teach in a tertiary instituition.
Skip the 5-7 lecture. Was feeling sick. Body hot, breathe hot, running nose. Should be not enough water, hardly drink enough water these days. And maybe because i had a tiring training on mon. First training after so many months, and the warm up so jia lat. No wonder the body will take revenge. True enough, when i reach home, i started to have slight fever. Slight only la, maybe 37.5 like that. Then was like damn thirsty. Haiz~ This is the 4th time sick in a year. Not a good sign. Last time sec sch long long long time then sick once. Maybe one semester once only. Now only three months past, 4 time sick. Dying soon.. Then sleep 6-8. Then on MSN. Discuss FAC with ah leow and mah. Talking about the theory test and the allocation of team manager stuff. And I was leading them to the same old issue faced by the corp for many years. Which doesnt seem to have improvement at all. Then in the end, no answer to that too. Expected la. Then discuss till around 12+ then sleep. Quite happy today.
Wed
Went sch at 12 today. Felt better today. Actually dont feel like going sch. But promise syakir to be his model for his grooming presentation, so no choice. Saw rosnah and yuen shuan on when alighting train. Saw wei shan too. Then yuen shuan waited for mei ting and wan yi. Then me walk with rosnah. Didnt want to walk with her, dont talk to her also. Then wei shan was in front. Haiz~ Cant choose who to walk with. If walk with wei shan, got more things talk. Walk with rosnah, no thing talk but she is still a classmate. So abaondon her like not nice. Aiyo.. Why everytime i get caught in this kind of shit. So walk emotionlessly with rosnah while looking at wei shan's back. Haha.. Sianz~ 12 got aids presentation. The girls grp. They use steven lim aids commercial.. Haha... Damn funny. Then the teacher ask for feedback. Suprisingly, i got the feel to ask qns. Haha.. Then the teacher ask the guys to share their thoughts and feelings when we were in CDC with the aids patient. I shall talk about it now.
Aids patient are actually waiting for their death or waiting for their aids to get full blown and die. There is no cure for aids, there are only medications to slow the rate of the virus from spreading. A typical aids patient will looks very thin, skin and bone only. Because their muscle are wasting away quickly. Which means they got no strength to walk. Then when it get worse, their appetite for eating also decrease. They normally eat less than half of their meal only. So cant even eat or swallow properly, need to be feed through tube going from the nose to the stomach. As they are weak, they have problems moving around. So they are mostly bed ridden or chair ridden. Some also cannot control their bladder and rectum. So they will shit and urine without noticing. So they are given diapers. And diapers retain heat and moisture, and after some time the patients perineal area will get red and tender to touch. Pressure sore may also appear. And their wound healing in the body is very bad, so once they get broken skin, it is hard to heal again. So their broken skin is somehow permanent and they have to have that pain till they die. Aids also affect the immune system. That means the patient gets infection easily. Actually they get infection everyday. Because their body temperature is always high, around 38-40+. Only once in awhile go down, then after awhile shoot up again. They cant even drink tap water. Because tap water may contain some bacteria that is not harmful to normal human, but extremely deadly to the aids patient. They can die of infection. The most common infection is pneumonia, infection of the lung. Two of the patient i saw have, and one later diagnose to have TB. And the other died. Yes.. She died two days after our attachment ended. She have been struggling for more than a week. She couldnt talk, and she was having swelling all over the body, and she was curled up because all her muscles contracted. She had a great will to live on, but i dont see the point of it la. She was already on 100% oxygen and all kinds of drips in her body. And her vessels in her body alot collasped, so the doctors had a hard time locating a vessel to insert the drip. She was already dying on the first week of our two weeks attachment. Then we were thinking that she would not make it in the weekend. Surprisingly, we still see her on the second week. She died on the sunday of the second week. That was one death. Second death was from the other ward. Guess the age. That girl was only 22. And she died of aids. She have only live two decades of her life and the next moment she is died. She shared a needle with her bf to inject drugs. Who knows.. From that, she got aids. At the age of 16 diagnosed with aids. just six years later, she is on her way to heaven/hell?? Sad case right. So bottomline, prevent aids. Which i shall discuss next time.
Continue.. After that was individual presentation. Liuyue presentation sucks to the core. Dongling one little better than her. But she got her medical handwashing steps wrong. Then ask me to return demo. I did the right one. Then the teacher say wrong. Then i was like staring at her, then she said "You forgot to say that each steps need 5 rubs". ok.. I believe i told my kids that each steps is 5 rubs. So no fear. And you know what is the worst thing. She is the lecturer who taught us clinical skills during yr 1 sem 1. And she taught us medical handwashing. If we get it wrong, haha, that means she sucks. Nvm.. Then went bio lecture. Then went home. Never go judo. Sick. Dont want to risk my life. Yao zong called me and say he sick also. Haha.. Reach home, then went out again to meet my mother. Eat then go popular. I wanted to buy angel and demon. Then she said might as well buy dan brown whole series of book. Then we were calculating the prices of individual vs the 4 books in one. Got 20% discount + card 10 %. So if buy seperately is $45+. Then we decided to buy the whole series. Then to our shock, it was also 20 % + 10%. So 4 books only $39.90. Haha.. So good lor.. So one book around $10. Worth buying la. Since so nice to read. Then went home. Then on MSN. Mint com back but no mouse so she borrowed from me. Pass her the mouse and chocolate as promised. Then went home. Actually is i pluck my com's mouse then lend her that. Then i took my father's extra mouse use. I couldnt have lend her that, it was nicotine, tar and 1000 chemicals stained on that mouse. i dont even want to touch it lor.. Haha.. Then coincidence, my mother ask me go buy light bulb because toilet light spoil. So i made a deal with her, she clean the mouse i buy bulb.. Haha.. Great deal.. Bought the bulb, fix the light got a newer looking mouse. Then discuss thurs training with ah leow and mah. I was like gonna vomit blood liao. Very tired now.. Talk about it again. Very happy today. Tomorrow need to wake up at 6+, training at 8am. And skill assessment at 6pm. And i havent study. Shit.. Holy shit!!
Nitez to you~
and so He speaks
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Sun
Did nothing the whole day. Until night then did my patient education. Very hard to do lor.. Topic "Infection Control". I think i dug a grave for myself by picking this topic. So many things to say and only 10 min. Started doing from 8pm. Do until 1.30am like that. So tired.. Then sleep.
Mon
Wake up at 6.20am. Got class at 8am. Did not attend all the lecture. I was busy doing my presentation in eplaza. Then walk to library find references for quite a few time. Finally finish everything at around 11.45am. Then go bookshop print into transperency then lesson start at 1205pm. I dont think i did a good presentation. I overshoot some time and cant get to do a return demo. Today's presentation was all very dry topics. So kind of boring lesson. Then huda did a very interesting topic. She did Family Planning. Then she talk about contraceptive methods. Then guess what's her demo. How to put on a male condom.. Haha.. She made a clay penis and then teach everyone how to put on the condom. Then everyone was like more excited compared to the start of the day. Then guo hao did a return demo. And a lousy one somemore.. Haha.. A girl can do better than a guy.. Hmm~ Haha.. Then after that got judo. Got my blue gi. Very nice. The top was bigger than my white gi, but the pants was smaller. And it was a better quality one. And cheaper than my white one. White $80 Blue $65. The interior of the blue gi is like carpet. Damn insulating.. Then we had training at the sports hall rather than at the dojo. We were basically running and running. In between did some push up, squats, crunches and crawling. Very very tired because long time never go for training. And what was worse, the gi was so so so insulating. So it is HELL HOT!! Imagine running with a carpet or a blanket. Then break time, went toilet open up the gi. That moment was so wonderful, so cooling.. Then continue training in the dojo. Did uchikomi with different ppl. Then got randori. First match with yao zong, win by osoto gari. Then with jeremy, he was too light.. So did not really throw him, just trip him and flip him around. Then did one left tai otoshi on him. Then change person fight. Then me and anthony. Nobody scored anything. But he likes to injure ppl. He kick my shin so hard lor. Now stand up also pain. Yao zong versus him worst. He whack him on the trachea once, and the jaw once. Then kick him also, then injure yao zong knee. Very GY lor.. Can do this to his club members.. I think this sunday comp i will be UNFORGIVING. I will turn on my crazy mode. We shall see.. Haha.. Then after training, went S11 eat.
Then came home. Discuss about Guardian angel with jieting. I think i was saying guardian angel exist because of ppl who likes someone but cannot be with them, so they choose to be protecting their love one from one side. Loving someone doesnt mean you need to possess them, just make sure that the person you like is happy in their life. Guardian angels are actually sad cases.. Your role is to be somewhere not noticeable and try to helpif possible. Sometimes even if you want to help, you find out that the other party more loved one will be by them already. Imagine you see someone you like holding hand with another person, what will you feel. Imagine seeing the person you like but the restrictions/duties that is you have are stopping you. How do you choose between friendship and love?
There is such an email.
Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadnt? or
Saying nothing and wishing YOU HAD.
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Dont be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, the might break your heart.. if you dont.. you might break theirs..
Have you ever decided not to beome a couple because you were afraid of losing what you already had with that person?
Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesnt..
You cant tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own..... when you least suspect it, or even when you dont want it to.
Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that person was too afraid to let you?
Too many of us walled up because we are too afraid to care too much.. for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all..
Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of REJECTION was too hard to handle?
We tell lies when we are afraid.. afraid of what we dont know, afraid of what others think, afraid of what will be found out about us.
But everytime we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.
Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.
Dont be a person who has to look back in life and wonder what they would have done, or could have done.
*What would you do if everytime you fell in love you had to say goodbye?
*What would you do if everytime you wanted someone, they would never be there?
*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldnt have them?
*What would you do if your loved one died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt?
*What would you do if you never got the chance to say I Love You?
This email reflects some thoughts of mine. Haiz~
and so He speaks
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Reach sch at 9.15 like that. Got extra lab practice. The lab was damn hot, i think the girls never on aircon. So i stay outside the lab as it was cooler outside. Did one urinary catherization during practice. Then lab 10-12. Teacher diff, i think better than the original lecturer. She go into more details. Practice urinary catherization again. Then makan at FJ. The spicy ramen sucks, so i go eat cai fan. Haha.. Went library with syakir watch the pianist. Nice show about WW2. See how the nazist kill the jews. Then went leadership at 2pm. Today not really a lecture. He using examples to teach us. I think the main point he is bringing through is looking at other ppl perspective. At first he ask us to write down what makes us singaporean. Then compare with the other country ppl in the grp. It is 100% diff. Then he ask for 6 volunteer, ask them leave room. Then he told us that he is going to paste a piece of paper on the six of them. Each paper got one type of person, and he ask us to give comments on that particular person. Got filipino, hawker, american african, china girls,female driver and the best, homosexual. I was hoping he put bangla worker, so got more things to say. Haha.. Then he ask the six of them walk around the class, then anyone can give comment on them and scold them. Yes.. SCOLD them.. He said vulgarity allowed for this exercise. Then the guys were giving comment on the homo, like how is backstabbing etc.. Quite fun la. But we dont really dare to scold, destory our good image. Then the teacher said that in US where he conducts this exercise, it is a 100% success. Because ppl in US dont give a damn about racial harmony, they will think of only their race. So a white would probably scold the person with american african on it until like hell. As sg is a racial harmony country, this exercise wont work that efficiently.
Actually being a psychologist is quite fun. The teacher was telling us; Nobody is pure evil or pure kind, it is just how the person hide the bad or good side of him. Which i think is true. eg. The sweetest girl in your class suddenly ask you go screw yourself and die. This does not really show that they have changed for the worst, it is just that at that moment the evil side of her wasnt concealed. Dont see ppl always kind to you, but actually inside he maybe scheming to kill you. Who knows!!
Then he was also saying that student and some lecturer should work together and not sabo them. In poly cannot wear slippers. Actually all lecturers have the duty to catch students who are not abiding by the sch rule. Then some stupid students who get caught will blurt out the lecture or tutorial he had attended, and the lecturer inside never catch him or her also. Then sometimes the kind lecturers will get screwed by their superior. So he was asking us to be cooperative. He dont give a damn about how we wear of if we attended lecture late, he just want everyone to learn something from the things he teach. For me i think this is good la.. So much restrictions for what. Dont ppl actually think that what makes the students so called "bad" are not the students themselves, it is actually the school rules that made them what they are. Think about it..
Never go for judo training after class. I dont have that feel. I lost it le. My loyalty to the club is gone. Come to think of it, it is all thanks to the president and gf. They single handledly brought the club to this pathetic, desperate state that it is in now. I dont find anybody from my batch that really have that enthu or motivation to train. The bond btw us all are weakening. The club is on its way to hell. My comp is next sunday, and i have not trained for it yet. Haiz~ Why do we have such a president who have went through military training and live 24 yrs of life and is still such a loser and ass. Who cares.. I have more impt ppl to take care of. My kids.. I love my kids more than i love my judoka.
Went back to KSS for the footdrill training. Mah was there also. Do nothing much also. Just teach wanlin how to get into formation. Then after training got small meeting with my team. Secrets.. Then went lot 1. ct, st, sh was camping at the bus interchange waiting for me and mah. They wanted to go buy some stuff, but got no money. So we became a "portable" ATM. Then walk around with them buy some stuff, then went home. Then my mother ask why never go judo. Then i explain to her how great my president is, how united the club is now, how motivated i am to go for training etc.. Then was online. Consulting yan hsiang for her first aid lesson on sat. Around 3 hrs. Then also talk to mah and ah leow about the first aid procedure. Then add cy in to talk about the things that she found out and want to amend. Then after that sleep.
Sat
Reach sch at 7.50 like that. First trainer to reach, and one of the two to reach in time. Then the other involve today were abit late, and abit gabra on what they are suppose to teach etc.. Then spent some time to tell them. I wasnt too happy about it. I dont like late comers especially trainers. Hope everyone know what is expected of them la.. I always believe self awareness is better than ppl scolding them. Come to think of it, two years and i dont think i have punish anyone. No pushup, or whatever extra funny duties. Too kind?? Wasnt really teaching today, all stations got ppl teach. So i just make rounds, see that everyone doing things, see how they teach and learn etc.. Then got FAC debrief at 1. Ate lunch in sch, provided by NCC as they were having camp and got 30+ leftover just enough for us. Dont think everyone was happy about eating the food, but uniform grp need to help each other. If uniform grp dont even wanna help each other, what will the so called "BETTER" sports CCA see us as. And a promise is a promise, it is not appropriate to break it. And what more.. Free Lunch lor.. Haha.. Then after that, while eating look at the kids training. Then eat finish help with the formation. We got a compilation of parade music, and the csm was deciding which one to use. The one she choose wasnt nice, and doesnt fit the thing we are doing. So i ask them go back do their normal stuff, while me, ong and ah leow choose song. Coordinating song and our steps was hard lor. Must listen to all the songs then have a mental picture of how the drill will look like with this music. Finally i choose one song, then was trying it out myself. Then found out that it was almost perfect, only got 1 or 2 counts of 8 more only. So can change one. Then i was figuring how to put the drill with the music. Then ong also come think together. Then finally got a very nice one. Was so happy. We could actually figure out it in just a few times of trying. Intelligence really helps! Then everyone was looking, then ok with it. Then we started training with it. Quite successful. Then we also did the closing of the formation. This time round is ah leow think of it, then we try to coordinate it with formation. Also feasible. So overall, all the things have been settled. Only need to polish on the coordination of everyone. Then will be perfect. FDC here we come..
Then after training, went lot 1 with jingying, weifen and ong. I makan they watch and talk. They were talking about some truth. Which was so true. Then after talk talk, we got home. Got kopi session at 9pm. Reach at around 9.15. Played time crisis 2 with ong. He really not cut out to play shooting game. Hehe.. He died at stage 2 area 1. Then a kid came and played. Then he died at stage 2 area 2. Then the kid came in again at stage 3 area 2. Then died there.. Wahaha.. So noob lor.. Waste money play only.. I completed the game again.. Happy happy.. But not happy that got shot twice. So life only left half. Next time should react even faster. Then went 7-11 buy water, go old place sit and talk. Was quite peaceful tonight. The enviroment seems good today. Then talk until 11.30+. Then went back. Me and ong damn tired after one whole day training. Reach home at 12 like that. Very tired now.. Wanna sleep..
Nitez to you~
ps. Sometimes I like my intelligence too!!
and so He speaks
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Nitez to you~
and so He speaks
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Actually when the sch set easy paper, they are actually like lowering the standards. Even though students are always more than happy to receive easy test paper, but come to think of it, it actually makes the students somehow "weaker". Dunno how to explain now, explain next time. Then went home at 4pm+. Went home with wei shan. Finally going home with her. Actually quite shy, haha.. Even though know her for few months, but never really talk to her. Mostly through sms or MSN. Real talking and messages are always diff. So the feel is diff. Then slowly get more comfortable, then talk more. Talk about my class, her class. Was actually talking about family, then she somehow skip that topic. Maybe when i get to know her better then ask. Then we went lot one, went NTUC. She go buy corn, and she said that raw corn taste nice. Haha.. Try it next time. Then bought old chang kee, she bought curry puff, me buy yam pie. Went outside lot 1 buy red tea ice blended. Walk home. Reach her house first then went home. Quite nice walking and talking with her. I think will get more chance. We already settled on me bring her around CCK to look see, then also basketball. Haha.. So happy. Finally got ppl can go home with me, these past two years almost always alone. Not really alone but is "alone".
Just now when i switch on my handphone, i saw my welcome note. Haiz~ Dunno if i should change it. I put it for quite long le.. Around 6-7 months. But it seems impossible to achieve. Tired~ The past haunts. The truth hurts!
zzz!! Editing at around 12.40am. Studying for bio prac. Started from 8.30 like that. 4 hrs liao.. Hungry now.. Need some glucose to have a short boost or attention span now. Drank coffee just now, so wont be able to sleep so early. Now only at page 46. Need to study till page 84. Long way to go. I think go fridge see got what things can eat. zzz!!
Nitez to you~
and so He speaks
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
But i think the rat shit in the grp was liu yue. Not that i wanna comment on china girls, but i find it hard to believe that she manage to stay in the course for 3 semester despite her english was like shit. She could not even speak clearly. She always merge two words together and skip the words she dont know how to pronounce. With this kind of grp mate, it is really your luck.. out of the 5 PRC in my class, only 2 are more useful. Lijuan and liu yue are hopeless cases, xue dan also not that great after i grp with her this sem. She can ask me on MSN, "I cant find, can dont find?" Just like ong, not that we have prejudice against them. But they need to know the fact that they are in singapore. I repeat SINGAPORE and not their corruption infested motherland. Dont expect the locals to change for them, they are the one who should change. With their presence, they make life harder for us. We are already being kind to guide them on their english, and not giving them hard to do topics when having presentation and end up spending days doing the projects on our part while they can read their chinese comics and talk about how badly the group treat them. The kindest and most humanitarian thing we do for them is not to tell the lecturer that they did not do anything for the project; Expecting us to pass the scripts of the done project right in front of them and tell them which part they are presenting( or talk crap?). What do they do during the grp meeting? They can come and do nothing and sleep right in front of every grp member while we are cracking our brains and pulling our hairs discussing on how to do the project. And when we wake them up, they will give you the most DISGUSTING DISGUSTING DISGUSTING annoying grin as if they have done nothing wrong and was right to sleep during grp meeting. Screw them man!! Like what i always say, swim back to where you come from via the South China Sea.
After tutorial, go makan. Clinical lab at 3pm. Finish at 4pm. Never go for 5-7pm lecture. Wanted to go home study for the two tests this week. Went home study clinical and copy bio notes.
Writing the scenario yesterday, i thought of another one.
In Jay album that song "珊瑚海" got a phrase 海鸟跟鱼相爱只是一场意外. Then i was thinking. Can elephant and giraffe be together also? Is it a mistake that they love each other? Or is it 100% right for them to fall in love? If they really do, how to face the world?
"Great love take great risk" dunno who it is meant for. Hope the intended recipient knows what to do.
Nitez to you~
The touching story
My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment... She cooked for students & teachers...to support the family.
There was this one day during elementary school and my mom came. I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful look and ran out.
The next day at school... Your mom only has one eye?!?!"...eeeee said a friend.
I wished my mom would just disappear from this world. So I said to my mom, "Mom... Why don't you have the other eye?! If you're only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?!!!"
My mom did not respond... I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think that I had said what I'd wanted to say all this time...
Maybe it was because my mom hadn't punished me, but I didn't think that I had hurt her feelings very badly.
That night... I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
My mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake me.
I took a look at her, and then turned away. Because of the thing I had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the corner of my heart.
Even so, I hated my mother who was crying out of her one eye. So I told myself that I would grow up and become successful.
Then I studied real hard. I left my mother and went to Singapore to study.
Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too...
Now I'm living happily as a successful man. I like it here because it's a place that doesn't remind me of my mom.
This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when... What?! Who's this?! It was my mother...Still with her one eye.
I felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. Even my children ran away, scared of my mom's eye. And I asked her, "Who are you?!" "I don't know you!!!" as if trying to make that real.
I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children!" GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"
And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared out of sight.
Thank goodness... She doesn't recognize me. I was quite relieved. I told myself that I wasn't going to care, or think about this for the rest of my life.
Then a wave of relief came upon me... One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house in Singapore.
So, lying to my wife that I was going on a business trip, I went. After the reunion, I went down to the old shack, that I used to call a house...
Just out of curios ity. There, I found my mother fallen on the cold ground. But I did not shed a single tear. She had a piece of paper in her hand....It was a letter to me.
"My son... I think my life has been long enough now... And... I wont visit Singapore anymore... But would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come visit me once in a while? I miss you so much.. And I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I decided not to go to the school. For you... And I'm sorry that I only have one eye, and I was an embarrassment for you. You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mom, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with only one eye... So I gave you mine... I was so proud of my son that was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.I was never upset at you for anything you did.. The couple of times that you were angry with me.. I thought to myself, 'It's because he loves me..' My son... Oh, my son... "
This message has a very deep meaning and is passed to remind people of the goodness they have enjoy was because of others directly or indirectly. Pause a moment and consider your life! Be thankful of what you have today compared to many millions who do not live lives as you do.
and so He speaks
Monday, March 06, 2006
Was talking to my old friend, Grace on the phone. She just finish her A but did not have the result to enter uni. So she was thinking of going nursing either NP or NYP. Then i told her how life is like in the hosp. The shift duty, the procedures we do etc.. She said she had wanted to go nursing after her O, but she said that it was too fast. I think what she meant was that she still could not accept from being academic to being a specialist. Because jc is still rather like sec sch, study for academic subjects like maths, science etc.. Whereas in a diploma you study things that are only relevant to your jobs next time. For example nursing study bio, psycho, socio and clinical procedures. You wont expect a nursing student to study maths right.. Haha.. At first i thought she wanted to choose because her results sucks like some of my classmates.. Haha.. Then i remembered she told me before.. I think she told me she wanted to try out nursing 3 years ago when we were in sec 4. That seems a long long time ago.. Not sure if she can take accelerated diploma, that means get diploma in 2 years since she got A cert. She just want to send out the application and wait for the reply. If till then she dont want to study nursing, she still can retake her A or do other stuff.. The converstaion lasted 21 min.. Hehe.. First conversation on phone with her in 2 yrs. Sometimes it is nice to call some of your old friends from pri, sec sch to talk. At least it shows that you did not forget them despite being in diff sch now. So happy!!
Despite busy worrying for bio prac, still thought of a scenario. Haha.. It goes like that.
Miss O likes Mr A, but she thought Mr A doesnt know it. But actually Mr A knows it. But Mr A wont like Miss O for years/centuries/milleniums to come, never in his life.
Mr A likes Miss J in the past, but she refuse for a stupid reason. Long time went by and they finally had a chance to be together. But for the same stupid reason, Miss J abaondoned Mr A. Time went by again, this time Miss J like Mr A but she choose not to tell him for some personal reason, Mr A also found out about it but he now likes Miss N.
Mr A likes Miss G in the past, but Miss G dont. There comes a time when Mr A likes another girl and Miss G realise that she likes Mr A. Time went by, Miss G no longer like Mr A, but Mr A realise that Miss G might be the girl for him. But nothing happened. Time went by again, Mr A now likes Miss N, but he found out that Miss G kind of relikes Mr A again.
This story kind of complicated.. Does it happen in real life? Does it happen in fairytale? Fairytale = real life? Real life opp fairytale? Humans are complicated so are their stories.
Nitez to you~
and so He speaks
Sunday, March 05, 2006
My grandmother actually saw me and li chween went out yesterday.. Haha.. Then she was talking about it.. bla bla bla~~ So "good"! Go out one time got two person saw me.. Haha..
When i came home from grandmother place, i started doing my bio prac. Then my mother call me to the room. Then went over, then she said the news said that only need 4 hrs to get a CPR cert. Then i was like WT.... I spent dunno how many hours kissing and touching Anne then get my cert, then now any layman can anyhow spent 4 hrs then can get CPR cert.. Shit lor!! I dont believe 4 hrs can learn everything lor. Theory 1 hr, test 1 hr. 2 hr prac not enough lor.. Even if it is one instructor to one trainee also wont be enough lor. Furthermore i dont see how they can get so many QUALIFIED instructors and so many Anne to do it. I spent half a day kneeling and practising then manage to pass my BCLS lor.. I dont believe 2 hr is enough. Then my mother ask about first aid, she ask me what first aid i can teach. I can teach basic first aid because i got adult first aid. Then she ask got anything higher. After adult first aid is higher first aid. But i think is above 21 then can take. Because i know of someone who took it for so many years and still fail. Haha... Then she ask me become officer dont need higher first aid. Officer minimum is adult first aid. Then she was saying that anybody who can get adult first aid can become officer lor. Arr~ Then that sparks an age old topic which i have faced for a long long time. Then i was telling her, it is true, but the usefulness of one is not only determined by that cert. It depends on the person's worth to the organisation and even though ********(secret).
Then she was asking me what i do in the corp. Then i was saying i can teach every subject examinable in SJ. Then she was like "Are you sure?". I wanted to elaborate to her more, but rather not la.. Later she say i boastful. This really shows how little my mother know what i have been doing for these past two years. Even though she knows i am going back to help but she dunno what i do. Maybe the side of me she see at home is the slacker side of me, she hardly see the more diligent side. That's why she dont believe what i have done or what i can do in the corp. Haha.. Nvm la.. I know my worth in the corp.
About yesterday, ong carried out a survey with some kids on what they are unhappy about the higher ranks. One of it is biaseness. They were saying me and some other officers always focus on some ppl while ignoring them. In order not to make it sound that ugly, i will explain it with psychology. I have read in my psycho book of a study with a class and a lecturer. One side of the class will be the very participative one, and the other side the less participative. After a few weeks, it showed that the lecturer faced the more participative side to lecture compared to the less participative side. So that means it is human instinct for someone to focus on a more participative/optimistic group of ppl rather than ppl who hardly participate or hardly shows interest. To link to the scenario here, the grp of ppl taking the survey can be refered to the less participative side. Some truth. A corp consist a number of ppl, it is not possible for one to focus on everybody. One will focus on the ppl who are more "in" to trainings. Because they showed more interest in it, so therefore the focus will be shifted there automatically. You cant expect me to focus on ppl who doesnt participate actively in trainings. Because you havent shown me what you are capable of doing or the amount of knowledge or commitment you have. You cant possibly me to trust ppl who dont talk then those who talk. Would you rather work with someone who shows that they are capable or work with ppl who doesnt show their capability? I know it sounds hurting but this applies to the society, the real working life. It is called "packaging" in business. It is like you would choose a box of biscuits with the packaging wrapped nicely and showing you how much good nutrients it have than choosing a box of biscuit with just the logo printed on it and nothing else right.. So, you need to show me what you can do rather than sit there do nothing waiting for me to ask you to show me what you can do. It is so called "spoon feeding" you. In sec sch, spoon feeding is a norm. But once you leave sec sch, there will be no one spoon feeding, you must learn how to get info yourself, how to let others know what you are good at. If you remain passive, you can achieve nothing.
Linking to the scenario above. Let's talk about worth. Your worth in an organisation or maybe even your family and friends. My worth in my corp. I believe there are ppl who thinks that just because i am an officer, so i will AUTOMATICALLY have good knowledge of things. Sorry to say, I do not agree to this statement. I am where i am and have the knowledge i have not because of my rank. I have been in SJ for six years. But it is through studying and constant revision by myself to make me what i am now. My knowledege did not drop from heaven, it is through hardwork. I studied my first aid for years, getting more familiar with it everyday and adding new knowledge once in awhile. My first aid was the worst in my FAC team years ago, yet I am able to teach the kids FAC first aid and I/C of their first aid trainings now. I believe it is through my own study that i am able to do it. What i am trying to say is, knowledge doesnt fall from the sky, you must grasp it yourself. If you dont even want to try and keep complaining that it is impossible, you have already placed one leg in to your self dug grave. Code from ""I not stupid too"", "You are not a loser if you dont win, you are a loser if you quit"
Nitez to you~
ps. To all LOSERS, time to do something positive about yourself.
and so He speaks
Actually wanted to go for the sports day for KSS. Then sleep until 8am, Bra called me. Ask me wake up and go and he drive me there. Then he keep calling me while i was preparing to go out. Then i pick up one of his call, then he tell me his ambulance no battery and was opp BPGH. Walk over there, then dunno what to do. Then he call the shepherd's wife. She say call the shepherd, but the sheep dont dare to call the shepherd. Then we camp there for awhile thinking what to do. Then the sheep finally called the shepherd. Then the shepherd ask the westwood OM go help. Then he came, look at the ambulance awhile, then decided to go call mechanic from keat hong that side. Mechanic came, charge the car a little then we drive the car to the workshop. He said the battery like long long never change liao and it was connected wrongly. Then after changing the battery, he found out that the autonator also spoil. Then he say remember go repair ambulance at other places. Then we went over to CCK stadium. Look around the place, see ppl run. Then waited for the cheering comp. Nighthawk got first, then kestrel second. Which i think got something wrong, because i heard correctly from the emcee that props are NOT taken into account of the score. And i think the first should either be kestrel or rhino. True that nighthawk got more props but their cheer not clear. Dunno what to say to. Biasness. But the overall champ is still Kestrel. Haha.. For four consecutive years the champ. And i was part of it years ago.. Hehe.. It have been a long time since i went for sports day or major event like this. The atmosphere is diff. In poly i dont get to feel have this sports day or whatever thing, so it was kind of a good feeling to be there. To see everyone cheer and support their own house, reliving this wonderful experience.
Then after that got extra training for footdrill. Footdrill comp is nearing, april 1st. So the training is stepped up. The commanders take charge, then i just go around correcting the major mistakes. Havent got time to see the minor details yet. Can see that everyone is putting in their efforts to train. That is one of the objectives of footdrill. To instill discpline and uniformity. Left the sch around 1550 with shaiful. Went lot 1, he go buy dinner for his family. Then waited for li chween who is always late. Haha.. Then shaiful the pervert(opps!) was waiting with me to see how she looks like. Because i was telling him she is taller than me.. So i think he wanted to see how tall she is la. Then he saw her, cant believe that she is that tall. Haha.. Then he left. Then me and her go FJ makan. Sat at the same place where we last sat when we went out.. Then makan. Talk and talk. It is actually a nice thing to go out with one of your good old friend once in awhile. Then we walked around, window shop. Didnt know window shopping was so nice. I think this is the most "sensible" date i ever went. Haha.. Then went 5th level. She wanted to see got what movie. Actually did not plan to watch, but she wanted to watch I not stupid 2. Then watch with her.. But she offered to pay half of mine since i already watched.. That was nice of her. Then while we go toilet, i "secretly" went down to KP to borrow $$.. Haha.. i only brought $20, so find reinforcement. Then went up, bought water then sit in. Actually quite nice to watch it twice, since it is a damn nice show. I was telling her to take out her tissue, because one part very touching. And true enough, she teared at that part. Haha.. That part where Jerry stole money to buy 1 hr of his father time to watch his performance. I knew that part who make alot of ppl cry. Haha.. Finished the show. Then went home. Wanted to send her home, then she say dont need. Then dont need lor.. But quite bastard of me la, should have insist more right. But nvm.. It was still early, so no fear. Then reach home, open my overdue present. Quite nice present.. Then get piss off by some ppl then sleep.
Saturday
Went KSS at 8am. Today teaching nursing. Did rotation schedule. Was scared that the thing would cock up, but lucky never. Teach until 12. Debrief for the FAC trainers. Lunch at Limbang. Started footdrill training at 1415 like that. Then ong was discussing something with me and ah leow. Discuss quite long. Then went to observe the training. Got some blank files in between, then slot in. We do our formation today. Came up with new ideas. Then we try it out. Got three parts. Then i jump from one part to the third part. I think still quite nice. Just need more familiarising. But i was quite surprise that me and ong can just slot into the contingent and do the formation with them even without training with them.. Haha.. Not that i am arrogant, just that i think we have reach a certain standard where we can see and execute it nicely. Like the phrase "Ginger is the old the spicy", i think it is really true la. Thanks to the trainings we had during our cadet time. What fond memories! NDP01 was just like yesterday. Actually i was really proud of my kids, they really put in 100% effort into these FD trainings. Long time never see them so hardworking liao!! It will be best if we keep it up!! If we stay at the pace we are going, the champion trophy will be ours for sure. Or at least a good fight with the ONLY worthy competitor in the comp. So proud of the kids! Go go go!
Went home happily. Makan then had a mini meeting with my team on MSN. Discuss some impt things and set goals for the team. As this is a secret meeting, no details will be said. Remember ct,sh,st,rl and jt. This is our little secret. Then went for the kopi session. Got tsoon liang, wei jian, ong, cliff and gf. Bra too tired to come out. Play pool awhile, then buy water sit outside singpost. Talk with ong mostly. We were talking about SJ stuff. kind of neglected wei jian and tsoon liang. Haha.. So sensitive and emotional issues which is all so true.. Then suddenly for no reason, my slipper strap broke. Tried to staple it back but in the end broke wei jian stapler also.. Haha.. Rough ppl will always be rough ppl!! Then i limp around to prevent the slipper from coming off. Looks really pathetic lor.. Then walk home with wei jian and tsoon liang BAREFOOTED. Haha.. So fed up with the slippers, so just hold and walk barefoot. Quite nice to walk barefoot once in awhile. But actually is first time walk home barefooted. Reach home, wash leg.
Late le.. Slp time..
Nitez to you~
ps. I love you kids!!
and so He speaks
Friday, March 03, 2006
and so He speaks
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Some overdue photos..Today nothing much. Wake up very late. 11.30am. Must be the effect of the med that i took at 5am in the morning. Actually meeting wei shan for lunch today, then she put me aeroplane again. She made herself sandwich for lunch liao. Then i said never mind, i eat myself. Then she offered to make sandwich. Then went over her house take around 2pm. Went shop and save wanted to buy drinks but decided that coffee is better. So just bought sweets. The sandwich did not taste that wonderful la.. The filling is potato and eggs and she added honey. So it tasted weird.. The only part of the sandwich i never eat is the tomato only. i only eat tomato with whopper. Tomato are disgusting. Haha.. Took my med again. Was 2 hrs behind schedule. After that, sleep again. Sick is horrible. Waste so much time sleeping. And i have so many stuff undone. Haiz~ Woke up around 5.30pm. Wrote may and guo hao a testi. Dunno why, but got the feel to write. Then meet my mother for dinner at lot 1. Saw shiqi friend chee leng. Did not say hi. Haha.. Then takeaway for my father. Bought I weekly as i think the cover very nice. It features campus superstar top ten finalist.
Not sure if i want to go for sports day tommorrow. The memory is somehow still haunting me. Tommorrow will be meeting li chween, dunno go where also.
A thought that came upon me when i was in the bus. People always say to live each day as if it was your last because you will never know what is going to happen to you today. People also say that you need to make plans for your future and not just live your day blindly. Ironically, Since you live each day as your last, why is there a need to make plans for the future. eg. You plan to get an A for your modules but on the other hand you tell yourself it is your last day on earth today, which one you choose? Since you made plans for your future, why tell yourself you are going to die today? So doesnt that make it stupid? You plan ahead but you tell yourself your last day is today!! haha.. Mankind!! Playing with words though..
And another thought. I graduate from KSS. I go back to KSS as an SJ officer. So that means all the stuff that i do must be link to SJ. It is the so called "Connection" But i dont really want to go sch events carrying the name of SJ officer. Why cant i go to sch events and tell everyone i am a graduate/alumni of the sch instead of being a SJ officer? Funny though.. I wanna go sch events as graduate, but i automatically will be "promoted" to first aider. Haiz~ Life! What i want is simplicity! I hate complicated life.
Nitez to you~
and so He speaks
